Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 31, 2012

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Great Moments In Lady-Parts Science This week: Todd Akin's Startling Discovery One evening, Missouri Congressman Todd Akin was puzzling over the difficulty of being politically opposed to abortion rights, even in the case of rape. Woman: Todd? Todd: Not now! I'm doing SCIENCE! Suddenly, he realized his position would be more palatable if a rape victim COULD NOT BECOME PREGNANT! Todd: EUREKA! SNAP But as a lady-parts scientist, he knew he must subject his discovery to rigorous scrutiny. So he thought about it for a few minutes. Then: GOOD NEWS! Todd: I'm convinced! But first he had to make a peer-reviewed presentation to a panel of other lady-parts scientists, which he did at the club. Todd: ...so the lady's lady-system secretes a secretion and shuts itself down. Man #1: Secretion. That's a science word. Man #2: I'll buy it. We all owe a debt of gratitude to Todd Akin for his contribution to the field of lady-parts science. CENSORED ??? Hoo-hah Unmentionables Person Waiting Area The End Next, in Great Moments In Lady-Parts Science In 2010, Virginia lawmaker Bob Marshall discovers that an abortion dramatically increases a lady's risk of later having children with "handicaps." Bob: In scientific terms, I "extracted" that conclusion directly out of my "posterior."