Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 07, 2013
Transcript:
fourth in a series of government information brochures your government, working for you! attention, journalists: you have been designated an... enemy of the state your practice of journalism has been deemed contrary to the interests of the united states. therefore, all of your past communications have been seized and are being reviewed to find further evidence, co-conspirators, undesirables, and amazon purchases of questionable taste. information is state property. trying to find out what the government is doing is a criminal offense. to avoid prosecution, you are to report to a journalist re-education center, where you will be apprised of the following approved subjects for the exercise of freedom of the press: pets in jeopardy pets not in jeopardy, but extra cute white house press releases side boobs political gaffes local youths persons in possession of produce in shape of celebrity head off-the-record meetings1 hands-free hamburger-eating apparatuses sports bloopers humor in uniform nip slips numbered lists of pets, animals or sex tips jumble tm answers (upside-down only) do not encourage leaks. if a government employee tries to give you classified information, refuse it. and if it's placed in front of your face, avert your eyes. the government gave you freedom of the press. be grateful and cooperate, or we can take it away. 1. the existence, not the content, of
Linguist over 11 years ago
Doesn’t matter which party, they all wish they could do this. I reside in a “democratic” South American country where criticism of the government by the press is frowned upon and the press is tightly controlled.Gripe all you want about the attempt by government to control the media but it’s a hundred times worse almost everywhere else in the world.
kapock over 11 years ago
I thought these things were supposed to be satirical.
jnik23260 over 11 years ago
The list of approved topics looks like the usual morning network news!
wcorvi over 11 years ago
He forgot the Kardashians. Celebrity gossip seems to be the journalism of the day.
lowellann over 11 years ago
What is a “side boob”?
taratus over 11 years ago
Look, journalists have the least risk in this information exchange. It is the government employee who is actually breaking the law by leaking, not the poor journalist whose activity is constitutionally protected. It is the civil servant who makes the decision to leak. The press merely decides which leaks are newsworthy. Bradley Manning rots in jail and he may never see freedom again.
elenasdisc over 11 years ago
Gee, the only time I leak is when I can’t get to the bathroom in time.
kapock over 11 years ago
@Lowell Nottingham: Sorry, that’s now classified as well. Your grand jury is waiting.
edclectic over 11 years ago
Just try to find a journalist in the U.S. these daze! If you’re not pukin’ the corporate party line and generating revenue, you’re not scribblin’ or speakin’ for any publication or selectronic media. Government propaganda notwithstanding, what sells product is what gets printed or broadcast.I majored in journalism but a brief all expenses paid vacation to southeast asia altered my perspective about media. Continued awareness of “mass media” convinced me to find a (honest) living elsewhere.
taratus over 11 years ago
“The dual revelations, in rapid succession, also suggested that someone with access to high-level intelligence secrets had decided to unveil them in the midst of furor over leak investigations. Both were reported by The Guardian, while The Post, relying upon the same presentation, almost simultaneously reported the Internet company tapping. The Post said a disenchanted intelligence official provided it with the documents to expose government overreach.” – NYT, June 6.
Trust me the use of the word “disenchanted” will mean this poor schmuck is toast. Why did we need the adjective? Why not let his motives be revealed in his own way? It is almost a double cross. The official gives up a state secret, and the journalists screw him while making room on their mantles for the Pulitzer.
babka Premium Member over 11 years ago
YES! alas.
Liam Astle Premium Member over 11 years ago
Welcome to Obama’s America.
wumpus Premium Member over 11 years ago
@Liam – While Obama is continuing the program, the legal justifications cited are parts of Bush’s Patriot Act.
jpozenel over 11 years ago
“Loose lips sink ships!”
ickymungmung over 11 years ago
Cute Cat Side Boobs! More Cute Cat Side Boobs!