Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 20, 2014

Transcript:

Enjoy this Classic Tom the Dancing Bug Vintage 1990 Every Thursday Panels from the annals of the Tom the Dancing Bug archive Check back every Friday for a fresh, brand new Tom the Dancing Bug! The Continuing Adventures of LYLE The Talking Pig 1990 Ruben Bolling CONTROVERSY RAGES!! Lyle was making millions endorsing a line of pork products. Lyle: Doesn't my friend here look good?! Why don't you run out and buy some healthful and delicious pork products? Pig: Oink oink fatback loin side ham But a constant barrage of criticism and accusations of betrayal necessitated a public response. Lyle: There's nothing wrong with celebrity endorsements. Reporter: But you're encouraging the slaughter and consumption of members of your own species! Lyle: Well, now, that's taking a very short-sighted view. In fact, I accepted this deal in order to HELP my species! Lyle: Look, there are currently 51 million hogs in America! If pork consumption rises, that number will INCREASE -- my species BENEFITS! Lyle: As pigs, we have to face facts. Humans RUN THE PLANET! They support our existence because we happen to be TASTY. As macabre as it sounds, we must use that asset to ensure our success! If pork consumption decreases, our numbers decline! If people didn't eat us at all, we'd become as plentiful as other species that humans don't have a use for -- the condor, the grizzly, the snow owl... Vegetarians are doing us any favors! The more people there are that EAT us, the more of us there will be. Lyle: So enjoy! Eat us! All I ask is that you treat us well during the brief lifespan you allow us. Reporter #1: More humane conditions on pig farms? Reporter #2: Right. Cable TV, macrame classes -- that kind of thing! Enrich us! NEXT WEEK: America swept up in Lyle's "Love Pigs -- Eat A Pig" furor!