Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 27, 2014

Transcript:

the top secret files of dick cheney oop: prince cheney! iraq has erupted into civil war! ah, the time has come. two miles below the surface of the arctic ocean... cheney: prepare the biogarment. i shall soon have to appear before humans. minion: yes, master! which heart will you be using? cheney: hmm... the 13-year-old boy's. i'll be needing a chipper demeanor. minion: all is in readiness. cheney: commence humimicry. minion 2: your excellency, how will you respond to the charge that when you started the iraq war, you lied about or were wrong about every aspect of it? cheney: urk. put the goat herder back in his cell. i'll be using the life force of this impudent mongrel. minion 2: yiiiiii cheney: do i look human-like? minion 3: enough for an appearance on fox news. cheney: very well. i will now dictate the op-ed piece blaming obama! "rarely has a u.s. president been so wrong about so much at the expense of so many." minion 4: ah, the audacity! the sheer evil! brilliant! cheney: why fraudulently start a war that hobbles my nation and sets the globe on an inexorable path to catastrophe if you can't have some fun with it? next: cheney demands obama be prosecuted for shooting his hunting companion in the face!