Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 06, 2015

Transcript:

super-fun-pak comix the unicorn whose tears were 1976 fairy: ...so i was banished from my magic fairy kingdom! unicorn: that's so sad... i'm going to... clunk crash thud oop: unn. aargh... hates-crime man oop: help! hc man: a crime! hate... crime... so... much! oop: help! hc man: there! this pose helps! oop: someone! please! willie wealthy friend: it's fun having a friend who is rich! say, can i have $10 to replace my tattered overalls? willie: no. and i'm spending $900 million to elect politicians to ensure policies that favor me! american sniper american: wha...? who captured me? oh, no! it's... arab: that's right! arab sniper! american: my arch-nemesis! arab: you know, american sniper, we're not so different, you and i... tune in next week... same american-sniper-time! kittens reciting dialog from blade runner part 3,698 all those moments will be lost in time. like tears in rain. time to die. advertisement if you liked the whoopi cushion, you'll love the... joy beh-zer!! who cares come on shake hands, and your pal will be shocked by the shrill voice of tv joy behar! yes! enclosed is $5.95! rush me my joy beh-zer right away! i can't wait until i get it!! i'm enclosing $5.95, but i'm not quite as enthusiastic about this purchase as all that. i'm enclosing $5.95, but i'm doing so fully against my will. a lunatic is forcing me at gunpoint. please call the police to 15920 oakley st., k.c., mo. i'm enclosing $5.95, but it's the result of an involuntary muscle spasm. i do not want a joy beh-zer, although i would have interest in a squirting lapel rosie should that product ever become available. i'm enclosing $5.95, but it is not through the exercise of my free will, since all action is governed by nomological determinism. nonsense. the conscious mind exerts its free will over atoms in accordance with natural laws. i can assert this will to refrain from ordering... oh, dammit, i'm enclosing $5.95. cut out and send to: joy beh-zer, llc c/o celebrinovelties, inc. p.o. box 3744a liechtenstein, bermuda 936