Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for February 26, 2019

Older people are like old cell phones, the charge of the battery lasts less and less over time.

More like “welcome to decrepitude!”

No way, we older citizens are simply so knowledgeable and know so much that we are easily bored.

Also remember that old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.

I’m sorry, I missed what you said. Must’ve dozed off……

Time for a nap! The great thing is when you’re old, you don’t need an excuse.

This must’ve been before the advent of coffee (said the penguin sitting at a Starbucks as he reads the comics…)

We shouldn’t call the later years The Golden Years. I prefer Golden Age of Constant Adjustments or its short form GAAAK!! as that is my usual first response to the mirror each morning

I don’t know but, that sounds like the typical teenager to me. “Can’t get up to go to school i’m too tired”

I remember comedian Paula Poundstone used to talk about babysitting a child who refused to take a nap. She said, that must be a sign of adulthood… that you WANT to take a nap!

Or like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes!