Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for October 29, 2022

Why spend money on artificial decoration when you can use the real thing.

Got into a ruffle there…….

Just send all those spiders to France. There they can all have French Flies for dinner. Plus they don’t have to worry about the frogs eating them. The French like to eat frog-legs. Plus if those spiders can find their soulmate, they can get married and become newlywebs.

Great effects!

Well you know why the spider had to cross the road?

It just had to go to a new Web Site.

Guests (especially the unwelcome kind), like fish, begin to smell after three days.-Benjamin Franklin

Those spiders have their own website.

Where’s Sir Rodney when you need him, with bung tipping back a keg. Yip yip yip yip yip

With a projector TV, this happens; but we’ve never had more than one at a time.

Or a hockey mask with a chainsaw

When you realize those a black widows…

Except for that one guest who loves spiders. Then it’s time for you to leave your own party.

I hate when that happens….

My 1970 Fiat Spider was scary. It was scary to drive and scary to fix.

My outside spiders are three times that big and very colorful.

Okay. Now, how do you get rid of the spiders who have already overstayed their welcome by just being there? …ick.

Is it because they look creepy? Or bite? or move too darn fast?

typical Aussie party

I find playing Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music, or anything by Cecil Taylor or Edgard Varèse, gets people to leave real fast.

Too bad we can’t project spiders through phones for telemarketers.