Wrong Hands by John Atkinson for November 07, 2017

I suppose there’s no hope for a relevé.

Drink a fifth to get to fifth position.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila..floor.

From Dan Jenkins’ book "Baja Oklahoma, the ten stages of drunkenness:

1. Witty & Charming2. Rich and Powerful3. Benevolent4. Clairvoyant5. Screw dinner6. Patriotic7. Crank up the Enola Gay8. Witty & Charming, Part II9. Invisible10. Bulletproof

Sixth position would involve embracing a toilet