Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 07, 2017

Plus, you don’t understand anything their saying.

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Merry Christmas, Stephan and to all those observing the Orthodox calendar.

Goat, why do you put up with Rat.

Smack that lousy rodent within an inch of his life.

Also, I’ve never seen anyone in a musical wearing a cast-iron bra.

You forgot to say have a voice that can break glass.

I’m happy to say I’ve never had to endure an opera once in my 70 years.

Staged yelling.

well musicals used to be called OPERETTAS. until someone decided to just call them musicals.

It doesn’t make any difference what you call them. People sing, and that ruins all the music. The human voice never sounds so horrible as when it is raised in song.

I like musicals AND opera. To each, his/her own.

I love operas and musicals if you take away all that singing.

I hate musicals, I love opera And this is how I usually explain opera : Boy meets girl – Boy loses girl – Boy gets girl back – Boy and/or girl dies

I like operettas. “Opera light”, so to speak.

Meh. Grand opera is nothing but s(e)x and violence committed by people whose voices are as grotesquely overdeveloped in their way as Arnold Schwarzenegger was in his. (But I’ll admit to dating a mezzo, simply because I loved her speaking voice…)

Anyone remember Johnny Carson’s “The Edge of Wetness” sketches? I remember one in which the cast of the imaginary soap opera included the town opera singer, Barbara Seville.

Rat gets one point !

When it comes to opera, the fat lady can’t sing soon enough.

There is no difference between a Light Opera and a Musical. Most Broadway musicals are light operas. Sondheim, Les Mis, etc.

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And opera is FAR from boring, although it helps if it’s in English, so you can follow it. The last one I saw was “The Merry Widow” at the Met. It was an English translation, with a small screen in front of your seat where you could turn the lyrics on and off. It was just terrific.

There’s a lot of variety in the genre.. Some operas are funny, some dramatic, tragic, some full of magic and wonder and spectacle like that in the “Lord of the Rings” novels. In re that last category, one summer I saw all five of the operas in Wagner’s Ring cycle. That was over thirty years ago and I still remember the beauty and amazement. On the other hand, much opera has a lot in common with professional wrestling and superhero comics. Exaggerated and unbelievable situations, outlandish costumes, Shatneresque overacting, and an audience that overlooks such “flaws” for the fun of the experience.

Only the last performer has to be obese, and they have to be female.

I didn’t like opera until it occurred to me actually to listen to it instead of concentrating on the way it was staged.

For opera, give me “Rabbit of Seville”!

It took me a long time to learn to appreciate opera, but I’ve loved musicals since I was six years old. By the way, if you love musicals, check out the current movie La La Land.

RAT…!!!! dadgum it, fool! we agreed…POMPOUSER and POMPOUSEREST!…Come on, Rat, shape up.

Rat is right.

There is no better music in the world than a well performed opera. There is no worse music in the world than a poorly performed one.

Agree on “La La Land.” If you are anti-opera, I suggest listening to “Carmen” or watching “La Boheme.” Or maybe even start with Oscar Hammerstein’s “Carmen Jones” or YouTube the “Queen of the Night” aria.

I’ll be the pedant. Musicals have dialogue, Opera is sung-through. Language is irrelevant. That’s why “Tommy” is an Opera, it just happens to be Rock.

Rat nailed it. Opera is a waste of a human voice. BTW, there are English language operas, except almost nobody knows about them or attends them.

Dave Barry: Classical music had maybe a dozen melodies and no words. Modern music has maybe a dozen words and no melodies.

Is it a goblin opera? With a goat and a unicorn in the audience?

Guess you’ve never seen “Phantom of the Opera” or the rock opera “Tommy”.

The difference between a musical and an opera? About $450.00. I did see a musical about an opera and it’s resident phantom, that is about as close as I got to seeing an actual opera.

Rat is 100% correct in this case

A Musical is a stage play with songs.

In an Opera, all dialogue is in song.

There are exceptions to that rule, as in any rule, but that is the best way to tell the difference.

(I’m pretty sure it happened exactly like this:)“I want to create a new genre of music.”“Great. Like something you would listen to on the radio?”“No, not that good. It shouldn’t really be about the music, more sing-song.”“Okay, so something you would buy and listen to at home, for the singing then?”“No, you’re still thinking too much about the music. It’s about what they are SAYING. The music and the singing should be stale so as not to take away from the message.”“Okay, so it’s telling a story?”“Yes! It’s a story!”“Great! Like something I might go watch at the movies?”“No. The story should be contrived and belabored so as not to take away from the singing.”“Okay, so without the singing, I would not watch this movie?”“No. No one in their right mind would.”“But without the story, no one would listen to the music?”“Exactly.”“So you want to sell people two incomplete art forms that fail to stand on their own, in hopes that each will prop up the other?”“I have invented the musical!”

There’s no single, clear distinction. Some points include:

An opera is normally referred to as something like “Composer-name’s Title (libretto by librettist)”, while a musical is normally referred to as “Musical’s-title, by team names”, but that doesn’t help, of course, when only one person writes words and music.

All the music of an opera is normally by one composer, whereas a musical usually has songs written on piano by the main composer and then orchestrated by an orchestrator, with all the dances composed by an assistant composer, based on the main composer’s tunes, and then orchestrated either by the main orchestrator or by a special orchestrator for the dances. A lot more, in other words, like an assembly line.

Many musicals also have one writer for the spoken parts and another for the lyrics. There may even be a special writer just to do jokes. Operas, on the other hand, normally have only one writer, but they’re usually just hired hands, and they’re usually just hacks, though there are a handful of giants.

In opera, dancing, if any, is done by specialists who are brought on just for that; the most the singers ever have to do is a short minuet or gavotte.

Leading opera singers, like baseball pitchers, are expected to perform only once or twice a week. It’s more exhausting than you could ever believe unless you’ve actually done it. You can sweat off ten pounds in one night.

Here’s an opera singer’s exercise. Lie down on your back, on the floor. Have someone sit on your chest. Now, bench-press him or her, using only your ribcage.

World-wide, operas are not normally done in foreign languages; they’re translated, just like any other plays. Keeping the original language happens mainly in the English-speaking world, because English is a bitch of a language to do serious singing in. That’s also why there are only a handful of operas written in English in the first place.

Hey Rat, look up the Opera Babes!

Hugh Jackman, take mi away.

In truth, there is little or no difference. That is why some musicals have been given full operatic stagings in recent times. A good musical and a good opera are both enjoyable, just as a bad musical and a bad opera both stink.

At the highest level, both require huge bucketfuls of money to stage, though also both can be produced at an economical level (e,g., in universities or community theatres). I enjoy both.There are even some svelte divas these days! And super-titles usually solve the operatic language divide….

For once, Rat is right, though both beat ballet, which is nothing more than men in pantyhose and women ruining their feet. The Russians sent that stuff to us and laugh to this day.

yeah, yeah. I’ve been to the ballet. Why in all these centuries has it never occurred to any producers to just hire taller dancers?

In an opera, everyone is screaming and tries to stab each other. I learned that from Carla Tortelli.

Rat isn’t wrong.

It ain’t over til the fat lady sings.

The joke about all opera singers being fat is at least 50 years out of date.

FORTUNATISSIMO PER VERITA

There is none. I’m just going to cut to the chase. Ladies dress like Princess Peach at bith

15 years

REVENGE ON RAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!