That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for October 20, 2021

As the new girl on the Instacart crew, Kelly got stuck delivering fish.

Is this painting confusing to you? / Look, it isn’t one woman— it’s two!! / One in back, (collar’s red), / one in front, (with no head). / Each one shows a left arm— that’s the clue! /// Surely, decapitation is shocking, / but the living girl stands, calmly knocking. / Front goes left, back looks right / seeming stunned, / (not from fright). / In that basket, a noggin is mocking.

Since Milly wears so many clothes she has to plan several minutes ahead of time to use the washroom. Hopefully it is unoccupied.

Milly surreptitiously clearing a wedgie before making her Uber Eats delivery

Little Debbie having to sell door to door because of supply chain problems!

(Knock-knock)

“Who’s there?”

“A Newhaven Fish-Lassie.”

“Lassie, go home. And take those spoiled fish with you!”

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“To.”

“To who?”

“To whom !”

They are moving the sofa, all right../ they’d been moving the damn thing all night -/ in a vertical plane/ and they won’t refrain/ until one of them wins the fight /// Ellie’s dad was known as no slouch / when it came to “moving the couch”./ When solo, he’d lie/ with his eyes on the sky/ but with comp’ny he worked from a crouch..///Her mom knew 200 positions/ (she could work under any conditions)/ and a sizable portion/ of the family fortune/ resulted from mom’s “intuitions”./// So Elfrieda remains at the door/ as she has so often before/ and the sofa will move/ in a vertical groove/ til her folks have completed their “chore”.

Bernice lost her right arm at the elbow, fighting the Crimean War. Her left arm was ruined and replaced with a dead man’s she knew from before.

So when you make fun of her ‘man hand,’ know she came by it fair. But it’s still okay to mock her for having bobbed her hair.

*Hat tip to F Scott Fitzgerald’s Bernice Bobs Her Hair.

Looks like somehow she lost one arm at the elbow.

“Oh, I don’t know if I should come in. Maybe, if you twist my arm.”

“To the left a bit… up… back… no, that ain’t right.”

you’ve heard of the trojan horse – this is the trojan fish lassie…

Easy boy, easy

Or killing two birds with one stone…

Nobody else would go trick-or-treating with Kelsey when she dressed up as a decapitated Siamese twin (see Solstice :) ).

“Wanna buy a fish?”

Mother, I’ve brought the rags you asked for. How long will Aunt Flo be visiting you this month?

“Wake up, Herbie ! We have to get married ! Herbie ? Herbie ?? Dammit, Herbie !!!”

Where’s her right arm?

“HELLO? I’VE COME TO BRING YOU THE GOOD NEWS THAT YOU’VE BEEN SAVED. HELLO? ANYONE?”

And if you take my Jehova’s Witness tract as an additional prize-a nice towel from my basket.

When I was a kid, I came into our living room to find my mother and my sister sitting on the couch shaking with tearful red faces. I immediately assumed something was very wrong. As I soon found out they were both laughing so hard they could barely talk and I eventually learned they had been trying to move the couch, but since there was a misunderstanding about where the couch was to go, they had both been pushing from opposite ends and the couch had not moved.

“Can you help me? I seem to have severely dislocated my right arm. Hello?”

Mom, Dad I have something to tell you. I’m pregnant!

Halswelle was never any good at drawing right arms ( and not so great at the left ones, either ) so he preferred to perform an artistic amputations.

“Johnny, remember that time six montha ago? Johnny? Are you in there?”

A Newhaven Fish-Lassie: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Keeley_Halswelle_-_A_Newhaven_Fish-Lassie.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/10/masterpiece-2812.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

New Haven? She’s a junior at Yale ! / Her business course certain to fail../ does she not know the score?/ You don’t go door to door/- you go “on line” to get the sale !

All she has to do is open the door and check.

“Sofa! Sofa! Sofa Darling! Mummy and Daddy just having some trouble moving the sofa. Don’t come in Darling! We’re fine!”

since losing her arm, Edna sought work at the local “house of pleasure” not too many men needed her to use both hands.

Competitive see-sawing?

Little Red Riding Hood went Blue after the Red side’s wolf bit off the arm that fed him.

If there was that much noise it’s possible that Mom & Pop were doing both at the same time.

Dave’s not here.

Sufficiently layered, she was ready to attend her first strip poker game … just the way her mom taught her.

Sir? Sir? The watch you sold me isn’t working very well; and frankly, makes loud sounds like it is a bomb or something … Sir?