Amanda the Great by Amanda El-Dweek for March 30, 2022

An unfortunate side effect of stink apes.

…….. bye bye romance sigh see ya (I can imagine all the poopy dreams for that night)

Any baby is pretty cool for a short period of time. When you can give them back when you’re bored.

“’Ooh, ah,’ that’s how it always starts. But then later there’s running and screaming.”

—Dr. Ian Malcolm

I agree! They seem to let out twice their weight, into those diapers!

And that is only the beginning. There are the terrible twos, teenage angst, and about 25 they evolve into human beings.

Get off on the right foot with your kid and all they do is get more and more fun all the time. Yes, 16 or 17 seems to be the age where some shocking things come out their mouths, but that’s to be expected. They need that declaration of independence, and you want it for them. It can be a hard thing, but don’t take it personally.

Oh, by the way, Teresa B. says to say hey.

SO MUCH POOP! I’m just thankful that – unlike my best friend’s baby – my kid was never into poop painting at naptime.

They’re like mini fudge factories.

Thank goodness for disposable diapers. My kids were born just before disposable ones came out. Yes, it was the dark ages. What can I say….Washing them just gives you another reason to enjoy the poop mess even more.

And, as the prophet Dave Berry, said if you were to cut their skull open, which one should not do, you would find that it is just one big drool gland.

My vet’s office has a sign out by the street where they usually post jokes. The current one:

Dogs prepare you for babies. Cats prepare you for teenagers.

:D

Cats eat, sleep, play and poop. Babies just eat, sleep and poop. Lots of poop. And baby poop is especially foul. I would always glove up when changing the twins. Yeah, at least it wasn’t twins with synchronised poop cycles. Yes, that’s a real thing.