Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for September 23, 2022

Ode to a sink trap.

What a great idea!! I think I’ll try that next time.

Plumbing will inspire such gritty prose.

I am sitting down after half a day’s battle with a cancerous area of the wall behind our washer/dryer. The misbegotten parts appear to have been original construction, with some “almost good enough” work without fixing the original errors. The holes are mostly filled; tomorrow I will seal the seams with mesh tape and hot mud. Then skim coat, texture, paint and ta da! Tonight I am too pooped to rant. Wasn’t I retired or something?

Be it the kitchen or, heaven forbid, the bathroom, I’ve always said plumbing problems are the test of a marriage.

I spent the last week repairing electrical items. It’s a good thing I retired so I could continue my career at home in my spare time. It seems everything gets smaller and harder to see though.

Plumbing the depths of his vocabulary

It’s called ‘maintenance language’. It is the arcane spells used by mechanics too loosen rust parts (learned mine in the USAF)

I hope Janis has band-aids on hand.

Growing up where most dads were craftsmen, contractors, or builders, we learned all the home stuff was just another job, no big deal. Used to watch a lot of This Old House, later HGTV, and now YouTube for advice.

Still enjoy memories of my father-in-law swearing in Italian during his battles with squirrels in his fruit trees, though.

Out, d@mned clog!

The correct tool for disassembling old plumbing is a Sawzall.

Sam Clemens would be impressed.

First full day of fall and Janis isn’t all covered up?

Arlo is better than me. I always that if we need to hammer some nails or build something fairly simple, I’ll do that. Plumbing is somebody else’s job,

This has to be the best depiction of ‘toon profanity I have seen in quite some time!

Which is why I’ve bowed to the inevitable and now hire pros to do certain jobs. Yes, it’s more money but I save 6 trips to the store for the right part and avoid what Arlo’s going through.

Shortly after moving, I replaced the non-working “instant” hot water system. Even though the tap was very different, my wife didn’t notice I had to show her. And she was the one who wanted it fixed.

Ha. You want to test a marriage? Try partnering as driver and navigator in a car rally.

I’m a plumber. My best customers are the ones who tried to fix it themselves first.

You can but it requires 16 penny nails and gorilla glue not supplied in the kit. I know this first hand.

Fixing a drain and putting up a light fixture are both simple in theory and use basic parts. In practice, nothing that comes up is predictable.

Leave plumbing to the plumbers.

Look at all that grawlix!

“To [BONK!], or not to [BONK!], is not the question:

Whether ’tis more hurtful on the head to suffer the bends and angles of outrageous pipedom;

Or to take tools against the mass of metals, and by unscrewing, end them…"

What is the difference between a soliloquy and a monologue?

Inanimate objects are out to get us!

(Even more so if you hurt their feelings.)

Why is he wearing a baseball hat, while working under a sink????

this happened to me once. i thought I was alone in the house and it sounded like a portal to hell had opened in my bathroom but it was just my husband trying to fix the sink

“Whoever said indoor plumbing was a blessing never had to work on it.”

My husband lets me do all the plumbing and electrical work around the house…I call the specialists.

He’s not angry. He’s practicing the art of “immediate venting” to prevent anger from getting a foothold. Don’t know why Janis and my spouse can never figure that out…

Sweetie. He was a Professional Potty Mouth long before you met him.

I used to work on my cars in my 20’s; mufflers, oil changes, transmission tec. There was always ONE bolt that would refuse to budge. Sometimes, if General George S. Patton was standing nearby, even HE would have blushed at the torrent of profanities that emitted from under my car!

A friend wants me to help fix a loose rocking toilet. Toilets don’t rock. There is going to be a floor, framing, and plumbing disaster in the hole under that toilet.