Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for June 25, 2021

Aunty drives a Morris Minor!

Remember the words of George Carlin "If someone on the road is driving slower than you he’s an idiot, if he’s driving faster he’s a maniac.

Shades of George Harrison’s psychedelic Mini!

Somehow Aunty, I’m quite sure that you’d never use that first horn!

I would like a reader board in the back window. I would not use it for obscenities, but I would like to be able to thank the people who are courteous and let me in.

As for obscenities’, I know a number of hand gestures I can use. However, I do not suffer road rage, first of all, it’s a commute, not a competition. Nobody has even dropped the checkered flag as I come roaring in with tires screeching into the parking lot at work.

Secondly, I only worry about things I can do something about, so I don’t fight traffic; traffic ALWAYS wins.

Finally, I console myself with the thought that some people can’t get through the day without making an asshole of themselves. Some people jump on every opportunity they can get. It makes me laugh and then I say a prayer that they get to where they are going without injuring anyone. If I am in a good mood, I will include them in that prayer. Now if I just knew who the patron saint of assholes is …

Clown horn.. Air horn.

You could always mount a Nathan Airchime K5LA train horn to your jalopy for honking at inattentive/crazy (or many BMW) drivers. Good luck finding a place to put that horn on your car.

Did you get your driver license at the LSD shoppe where they painted your car?

Better have a third one… made of Kevlar…

(ಠ_ಠ)

I would settle for one that says, “Get Off The Phone!”

I agree, Aunty!

That would call for a megaphone so you can really tell them how you feel.

My pastor back in La Jolla asked me once if I wanted phasers mounted on my car. I told him that I’d rather have shields the way San Diegans drive, especially when rainy season starts.

There used to be a couple “Aftermarket” horns you could buy that had multiple sounds you could choose from.

Cops got very annoyed because Police & Ambulance sirens were a couple of the options.

Also the European “Whoop Whoop” siren.

I’ve been saying this for years! Apparently Mark Rober had the same idea.

Driving on a highway is similar to life in general. Lead, follow or get out of the way!