Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for January 05, 2021

I hope he has a spare spleen or two in reserve.

Now, now – maybe he’ll be locked in a safe in 2021!

So it just flashes some lights, then displays a zero. Or all zeros. What’s so amazing about that that people would spend real money to get it?

It could be worse. It could display a countdown timer.

I need to get a calendar.. I know that

He should resolve to keep his spleen this year.

Too bad the spleen factory gets to run with only 50% capacity these days.

Word of advice, kid. If you’re hoping to stay safe – stay away from Dr. Mel.

You may resolve all you wish. What will be, shall be.

Hmm I get the same emoji when I resolve to make more in my bank account

If you want to hear god laugh, tell her your plans.

Might have more luck with the Magic 8 Ball!

better than the poop emoji

I resolved to move to Texas. And Montana.

Mocked by the machine. Does that thing have a spell checker in it?

What’s this recent trend to throw in any old preposition instead of the traditional one? The term has been “likely to”, as in “how likely you are to keep a resolution”, all my life, and now suddenly we have “likely of”? Where did that come from? And this isn’t just happening here. It’s everywhere. As if the purpose of a preposition is simply to indicate there’s a relationship between X and Y, but the nature of that relationship doesn’t matter. Prepositions are being stripped of specific meaning and are becoming simply markers of the fact that some sort of relationship exists. Fake language!

But give it a try anyway.

He should resolve to protect his spleen this year.

The killbots might have something to say about his resolution.

But, he’s going to set a New World Record for Spleen replacements.

Where is the burst spleen emoji?