Broom Hilda by Russell Myers for July 08, 2023

Broomie you should have zapped him anyway.

You mean like the guy who called 911 because the shed he was growing marijuana in caught fire?

Two relevant quotes:

1) As many a cop has said, “We don’t catch the smart ones”.

2) As Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson has said (as best as I recall), “IQ tests are the best predictor of success in education, career, relationships, and staying out of jail”.

Broomie, your own finger is a deadly weapon—why didn’t you use it and just ZAP that idiot??

To borrow from the Crocodile Dundee scene…“He’s got a finger”…“That’s not a finger (pulls out finger)…that’s a finger!”

Dat stooopid robber! ☺️☺️

I grew up on Bugs Bunny cartoons, so I always assume the bad guys are idiots. “Would I turn on this gas if my friend Rocky was in there?”

My favorite video on Youtube is called “Never Rob A Magician”. You should try to rob a witch either.

There’s very little in this life worth me going to jail over.

My favorite: the bank robber who wrote his stick up note on the back of one of his checks with his name amd address on it.

A typesetting shop I had business with was invaded in the middle of the day by thieves. One of them left some paperwork behind. It was his application for welfare, including his name, address, and phone number.

that’s say a lot if Broomie can outwit him for sure.

A (insert slur) goes into a bank and hands the teller a note

She looks and says this is a F-up Don’t you mean this is a stick-up?

No he replies, it’s a f-up, I left my gun at home

No, it doesn’t, Broomie.

Most are almost that smart……

Ah! But Broomie has a finger that’s loaded!

Thank God for dumb criminals.

If he had any intelligence he’d work for the IRS, so he can do this legally.

https://dailyhive.com/canada/atlanta-nail-salon-robbery-fail

His IQ is 163, he’s a member of mensa, has 3 on-line phd’s, and can’t find a job, what’s left? Except he has no street degrees from the school of hard knocks…

I love the story of a man who tried to rob a bank and the the teller who he pointed his gun at told him he had to give he his name and address to get any money out. He actually gave it to her. She gave him some money and then as soon as he left the bank she called the police. They found him in his living room with the stolen money and arrested him.

Having previously worked at a jail before retiring, I recall that when discussing with coworkers the charges for some of our occupants, I occasionally lamented that we did not seem to be getting criminal geniuses we were expecting.

Just the other day, a young man went into a nail salon in Atlanta, carrying a sack and demanding everyone to get on the floor and empty their pockets, then walked over to the the cash register, where the owner was standing and ordered her to empty the register….All caught on the security cameras….She ignored him….Everyone else followed her lead…The would-be thief left.( If he had a gun, he had not shown it.) Police warned this might not always work.

The guy who tried to rob a beauty salon yesterday actually did worse. they actively ignored him except for some insults. Nail salon robbery goes awry as customers completely ignore demands https://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2023/07/07/atlanta-attempted-robbery-fail-cprog-orig-jc.cnn

Crooks are certainly not known for “smarts”; yet this guy really seems extra-gullible. Broomie shows more Street Smarts than I would have expected, however….

No it doesn’t Broomie.

How about the ones who take selfies of themselves committing a crime and post them on social media.