Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for December 29, 2014

Tell your folks to get you a flamethrower so you don’t have to lie.

can Hobbes help ?

If I was allowed to write my fictional autobiography, I’d have Olivia Wilde as my wife and I’d be a billionaire philanthropist with my own private island in the south Pacific. Complete with a very short assistant and an entire wardrobe of white suits.

fictional autobiography? hmmm, that IS my life

At the age of six, he’d have to make up a lot to get enough for the third page!

Can’t wait till Calvin writes the chapter where he punches out Jesse Ventura.

Small children should never be given flamethrowers. They should learn on crew-served weapons first – teaches ’em teamwork.

@Plumbob WilsonAnd they can be assigned to pick up the brass.

Calvin’s Secret Life

Usually the Peanuts strips that I post here came before Calvin and Hobbes, and some of them helped to inspire Bill Watterson. But here is a Peanuts strip that Charles Schulz drew in 1994, several years after today’s Calvin and Hobbes (from 1989).Click here or stretch the image below: Peanuts (May 18, 1994)

Chuck Barris’ book, “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind” was subtitled “An Unauthorized Autobiography”.

Calvin with a flame thrower? Sounds like the makings for a horror movie. Don’t open that door!

Com’on, ‘baby’, light my fire.

A fictional autobiography??? Is that not what Barry Soetoro wrote in “Dreams”?<><me

Interesting question. Would you rather be able to change your biography to include more cooler stuff than actually happened, or would you like to be able to amend it to leave out some of the stuff that you actually did?

Figures. Lol

I started to write an autobiography once using a brand new tablet with a sharp pencil. I left both on my desk, and when I returned several weeks later to see what was “auto” written, there was nothing there!.Maybe there is a message here…

@neverenoughgold: If you wanted the pencil and tablet to write an autobiography, you should have left them in your car. The problem with using a pencil to write a book is that with each succeeding page, it becomes duller.

Hence my joke. You don’t want to deplane until the aircraft lands.

I love Calvin and Hobbes. I’ve kept a diary without missing a single entry since 3/17/1961. I’m now finishing up “book” 33!

Making your life up is always better than the real thing.

xxx

My autobiography is just a pack of lies. Then again that could be a lie.

@neverenoughgold: There can be far worse things in life than dullness. At least reading the comics helps keep you sharp.

I believe Calvin ask for a flamethrower for Christmas once, and even promised not to use it in the house.

I love to read this book.

What kind of M&Ms does Tattoo like best?

Red flags should have instantly popped up in Mom’s mind the moment Calvin asked for soap…