Close to Home by John McPherson for April 22, 2022

Hilarious

it pays to get a head I guess!

Many years ago, I was home from university for the summer when a girl I had dated needed help studying for an upcoming math test at the local community college. Math was my thing, so I didn’t mind helping, but … not once, but TWICE, her dad told me (in front of her), “If she doesn’t pay attention, spank her.” That actually scared me worse than if he had said, “If you lay a finger on her, I’ll break every bone in your body.” The latter I could have understood, the former made me wonder just what the heck was going on. If it was reverse psychology, it was brilliant.

How to show that you are incestuously jealous of your daughter.

Yay! Bleeb is back!

Nobody light a fire!

Need more dads like this lol

I wouldn’t think it was wise to have anything wax over an open fire.

Intimidation….oy

Wax heads above the fireplace. That could get ugly.

Hey!! I think I know that guy on the left!

(… Bleeb decided to quit slackin’ and show up for work! But he’s already manage to get Dalcon all PO’d…)

They’re wax now.

This is the sort of thing that keeps Dad from knowing exactly when a boy should have at least his balls hung up over the mantle. Not necessarily detached.

Tiptoeing through Madame Toussad’s

Brilliant idea. Good thing my parents never thought of it.

Ummmm….. there should be a word for when you want to say something but you are not quite sure what to say.

Bleeb, that’s not a very good hiding place, Dalcon can easily corner you in the fireplace.

Bleep back, with a friend!

My older brother swore that he would be there when our little sister went out on her first date, sitting on the couch cleaning his shotgun.

Don’t imagine she very many boyfriends, if any.