Close to Home by John McPherson for August 29, 2022

ϟ If you see a dirty butt in your future, you don’t have to be psychic to know that Charmin is your best choice! And now, back to the scam. ϟ

That is appropriate, since your predictions are full of crap.

Join the bears in the woods for lessons on how to use it.

Eunice quit her day job as a pirate, bought a crystal ball and the rest is history!

Butt, of course.

Order now and get 50 extra sheets per roll. Use the promo code “Don’t Squeeze” to get a signed photograph the original Mr Whipple. Use the promo code “Enjoy the go.” to win a chance to meet the Charmin bear family ‘in person’ the next time you go to the Charmin factory.

They should leave before she puts the squeeze on them.

how fitting………

Nope, definitely Cottonelle.

Better take the charmin because a lot of #%^* is about to happen in your future lol

Ads have taken over the world! That’s all that’s important now!

Ads take up about 15-20 minutes on an hour show. Elaborate, stupid, condescending, embarrassing ADS❗️They’re getting disgusting…too personal and the worse ones who’s pushing drugs is the Pharmaceutical companies, and then there’s the Medicare commercials.

Products would be cheaper if it weren’t for the millions they spend to push their poison.

No matter the brand of TP…it’s all for crap….

Charmin?!… really?!

On my count, let the Monday morning poop jokes begin!

…aaaaaaannd…. #2

Sort of figures charmin would be there to clean up. Obviously Crest passed on the sponsorship.

Are you there, Mr. Whipple?

Looks like just another Sh!tty reading to me.

Where were they in the Pandemic when we really needed them!?

Considering the medium that seems a reasonable sponsor.

Are they friendly spirits?

And before the reading, the spirits are taking a bathroom break.

Eenie beanie chili beanie…

They’re channeling Mr. Whipple?

how’d you squeeze this one in?

holey shades of Mr. Whipple, Batman!

She’ll be squeezing those two suckers for sure!

All this shït, yet you ignore the REAL issue: Our soothie could use a good orthodontist.

" Eenie meenie chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak."

Don’t squeeze the Charmin!

I thought she was foreseeing the next TP crisis