Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for January 03, 2013

This should get interesting. I bet the week will end on another cliffhanger though…

GET DOWN FOLKS!!! THERE’S A-GONNA BE BLOOD FLOWIN’!!!

Since blackmail is illegal, I think I know where this is going…

When cons con the other cons, who can foresee the outcome?

Hah! TJ lost his smile… Our Trust Fund Baby has a real world opponent.

Yes.

just kiss and hook up already….

Ann is probably getting a promotion and thus willing to leave.

@mercedes

You’re replying to mercedes’s comment:how long has TJ been working with wienies ?^^LOL

I think that it’s Ann who’s working with a weenie ;)

Whoever said Ann was scheming her own scheme was right!

Yeah, Ann.

Go “Black Widow” on Old Slimey: MATE Him then EAT Him!

She has another job. She was leaving anyway.

Corporate will say, “You’re an excellent fit for our culture (wink, wink)” and promote her.

In the second and third panels Ann looks bored/tired.

I bet she is starting a business, and asks him to be her business partner. They would do well together!

But tomorrow never comes………

Yippee! Back to Weenie World!

You know.. Tomorrow never comes. Yesterday’s tomorrow is today’s today, therefore it is no longer tomorrow.

Fae it, TJ. Yiu’ll have to perform the Gentleman’s Obligation.

TJ, remember what your mentor-in-conning already taught you— get it in writing!!!*Starlet, the Geriatrics advice is excellent. I was on a job interview myself yesterday, but they had reclassified the position to pay little more than half what it would have. But now I know the potential boss is also a con-man— should I, like TJ, take the job if offered?

Gee, warm for his form, wow you gotta be as old as me! Haven’t heard that in ages.

I’m not sure, but is a conversation recorded without both parties consent legal and if so, would the person doing the recording be in more trouble than the one he was recording?

Donny,

Sorry about that terrible virus on your keyboard yesterday! A little alcohol on a cotton swab, regularly applied, can help prevent future outbreaks.

And to all of you guys wondering if these high school kids are having sex, there was a great discussion last night on chastity on “Tell Me More”. Chaste young women are a growing movement. Here’s the link. http://www.npr.org/2013/01/02/168463370/chastity-why-wait

You’re so mean, Leviticus! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

…

Meanwhile, Shannon used money she had stolen from her father’s wallet to board a bus back to Pittsville. She had to see this Ann Eiffel lady, find out if the grouchy old woman was really her mother.

…

When she got off the bus, she saw the angry mob was still gathered, but by now the citizens had turned their anger on Ann. As Shannon looked on, Ann ran screaming from the torch-wielding, pitchfork-waving denizens.

I always thought the only match for AE is Dirk. I just remembered when TJ planted Tiffany at Toni’s old house and summoned Dirk – Dirk said he had plans. We haven’t heard about him for a while. Maybe now – Dirk walks in – we see Dirk & AE are an item – and find out AE is quitting to start a business with Dirk. That would leave TJ not smiling – for quite a while…

You’re replying to mercedes’s comment:

nice work but tj needs alot more teeth^^They only have a limited selection of mouths, I picked the closest one to what I needed ;)

LOL! I agree with your portrayal of Ann… “Making sure Shannon was between her and the crowd.” … Phase one of their plot involved splitting Toni from her ardent admirer. This involved digging for skeletons in Brad’s closet, since nothing they might dig up about Toni could convince Brad to leave her. They found the perfect blast from the past in the form of Diane, Brad’s old next-door neighbor and former crush. She was an elementary school teacher now, known for her patience with even the most difficult child. She had blossomed into a beauty. Perfect. … “Brad and I had one date,” Diane told Ann when questioned. “Things didn’t work out, to say the least.” … “But he’s a firefighter now. Tall, strong, handsome,” Ann wheedled. “Give him a chance.” … “Absolutely not,” said Diane firmly. … Ann smiled sweetly. “You teach first grade, don’t you?” At Diane’s nod, she added, “I would simply love it if my daughter Shannon was in your class. I’ll have to make a request to your principal.” … “Do your worst,” said Diane. … One week later, a frazzled Diane called Ann’s cell phone. Hmm… took a little longer than Ann had thought. She really did have a gift with foul loathsome beasts. “All right,” said Diane, resignedly. “One date.”

You’re replying to Brdshtt’s comment:

“They only have a limited selection of mouths, I picked the closest one to what I needed ;)”

…

Does the program allow you to put TWO mouths on his face? :) :)^^Lol, no!

Dudes looking more and more like Michael Jackson

every time Greg draws him(and that ain’t good)

If Corporate wants customers to give statements that AE tried to con them, TJ could produce Ox (who has been a big spender there) or hey, in an earlier strip, didn’t TJ say he’d also been recording Ann conning customers for a while?

http://www.gocomics.com/luann/2012/10/24

Here’s the strip where TJ says he’s been “recording conversations with her for a months” and has “great ammo.” I took it to mean he’d been recording her talking to customers, but maybe he meant conversations he’d had with her. Either way, it looks like Greg’s forgotten about it, or hopes we have.

It took Brad only a few minutes after stepping into Diane’s classroom to realize that the woman hadn’t been entirely truthful. Most of her class seemed to be little angels. All except Shannon. Not that Shannon tried to pull anything (ever since Diane had given in to Ann’s demands, Shannon had been surprisingly quiet). She simply glared at Brad throughout the entire safety lecture. It was rather unnerving, but Brad wasn’t about to show fear in the face of a six year-old, even one as demonic as Shannon.

…

The lecture went off without a hitch, the children were entertained, and Diane led her class in a round of applause for Brad. Shannon didn’t clap, merely sat with her hands folded on her desk, smirking, not breaking eye contact with Brad.

…

At six o’clock that evening, Brad was sitting across from Diane at a table in a semi-fancy restaurant, one of the best Pittsville had to offer. “It’s good to see you again,” he said.

…

“You as well,” Diane said, honestly. Even though she had only agreed to this date to get Ann Awful out of her hair, it was good to see the man that Brad had grown into. Who would have guessed that he would become a firefighter?

This is like a chess game.

To: Weenie World Corporate ManagementFrom: Ann Eiffel, Manager of Pitts BranchSubject: Resignation – January 4, 2013Dear Sirs,As evident by the enclosed copy of my office recording machine, I’m being blackmailed by a disgruntled employee. I agreed to submit this resignation, and I await the company’s legal opinion on your course of action. I admit that T.J. has unorthodox, but effective sales techniques, which I believe factor into his blackmail attempts. If you decide to accept my resignation, instead of investigating, and prosecuting, this employee, I recommend that you provide protection for my successor.Sincerely yours,Ann Eiffel

The next morning, before class started, Diane visited Weenie-World and made her way into Ann’s office. …“I went on that date with Brad,” said Diane. “Now will you please leave me alone?” … “Of course, dear,” said Ann in a voice of honeyed sweetness. After all, you catch more flies with honey. “I apologize if I came off as a little… overbearing.” Diane snorted. Overbearing didn’t begin to describe Ann’s mastermind. “I just wanted to see a former Weenie-World team member enjoy himself for a change. He hasn’t had many opportunities for… pleasure with him and his girlfriend fighting these days.” …“He told me about that,” Diane admitted. … “I’m so pleased he was able to open up to you,” said Ann, flashing the younger woman a pearly, shark-like smile to rival even TJ’s. “Did you have a good time?” … “Yes, thank you,” Diane responded honestly. “It was a lovely evening.” … Ann smiled. “Let me buy you breakfast.” … “Oh, no, I really shouldn’t. I need to be getting to work.” … “Offer’s open anytime, dear. A friend of Brad’s is a friend of mine.” … After Diane had made her way out of the office, Ann let out a maniacal laugh, straight off a villain in a children’s cartoon. Sometimes it was just too easy. … Diane went to her car and drove off to the school. She didn’t see Toni’s car in the Weenie-World parking lot or Toni herself sitting inside the car (not that she would recognize either if she did). Toni glared at Diane’s retreating back.

I always call her a rhymes with witch to avoid that problem.^^I usually use the term “B-Witch”

@Sportymonkor she’s already got another job lined up.`Said me.

Actually, a 3-way works for me :P

-The warm sun beat down on Brads face as he carefully washed his nearly antique Chevy Nova; fortunately for him, Diane had moved back in with her parents and she was, as always, a much better mechanic than he was , thanks to her help, the old car was running like new. Brad had taken the day off, seeing as it was his 22nd birthday, and Toni had promised him a “special night”. He paused, to think of the implications, as the hose filled his right shoe with tepid water, however, he was too stuck in thought to notice.-It had been about 3 months since the town’s Weenie World was carbombed into oblivion; WWCorporate decided that, with all the personnel changes, embezzling managers, phone threats and the high cost of bribing the food inspectors, it simply wasn’t worth it to rebuild the store; Pittsville would have to live without. Having declared the large hole (all that was left where the restaurant had once stood) a danger to public safety, the town filled in the space with concrete and it became the “Leslie Moore memorial kiddie pool”, named after a local thug who’d been killed by a member of a rival gang, several months before. Ann Eiffel, the only victim of the bombing survived, but, with her face, now a scarred horror, she felt lonely and loveless, with no hope to ever find the one who might make her happy….besides, the only man she’d ever REALLY loved, was rotting in prison, falsely convicted of the failed murder plot.

Reply

ohoh, Lev, our stories don’t match up here…. I have Diane long gone, and Ann being blown up by Toni! lol

oh, and Lev, Diane is very short, she was shorter than Luann, remember?

Somehow I don’t think this will end well for anyone.

Seeing the shocked look on Toni’s face, Ann added, “Don’t look so surprised, dear. Everyone in town knows how you tease poor Brad with no end in sight. TJ, me, several WeenieWorld employees, probably most of our customers considering TJ’s proclivity for fraternizing during work hours. Even your brother Jonah knows all about it. Miss Tiffany Ferrel- lovely girl, bright future ahead of her- even organized a benefit at her high school for boys suffering under the yoke of oppressively chaste girlfriends and used Brad’s dopey visage as the movement’s poster child. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if Puddles the dog had a good laugh about it with Brad’s parents over tea and biscuits.” …As Ann spoke, Toni grew redder and redder. Knowing that she couldn’t do anything to Ann without risking everything she had worked for, Toni stormed out, leaving a smirking Ann in her wake. The first person she saw was TJ, hanging out behind the register, waiting for customers to upsell. Toni thought he wouldn’t bother showing up to his minimum wage job after skipping town, but guessed that his cat-and-mouse game with Ann was so entertaining for him that he decided it was worth the commute. … “Hey, Toni!” TJ said, flashing all 57 of his sparkling white teeth at her. Toni smiled sweetly as she strolled up to the register. … When she got within arms reach, she pulled on his dorky little bow tie and slammed his head into the register several times. TJ’s head hitting the buttons on the register caused the drawer to open, but Toni paid no attention to this. When TJ finally passed out, Toni finally let go and allowed the cashier to fall to the floor. … Ann came out of her office with a cell phone. “Well done, dear,” she purred. “The police are on their way. Way to kill two birds with one stone,” she smirked. … Panicked, Toni grabbed all the cash from the register and hurried out the door. She would rather live on the lam than let this hick town punish her for not sexing up her boyfriend.

Toni turned right back around and drove in to Pittsville. Why shouldn’t she? She didn’t just barter her goods for freedom only to continue living like a fugitive. Besides, she had a bone to pick with this Diane person. She rushed by the front desk of Pitts Elementary, telling them she needed to speak to her niece’s teacher. Since Toni had no idea that Ann had transferred Shannon to Diane’s classroom, Toni had no idea how true this statement was. Toni walked into Diane’s class without knocking. However, the class was too focused on their work to notice. “Excellent work, Shannon!” said Diane approvingly. “You’re really coming along!” … Shannon? Yep, there was her niece, smiling proudly as she correctly solved an addition problem at the chalkboard. At her last visit, Shannon could barely count and was never still long enough to learn anything. This Diane woman had turned her niece into a model student. Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all. … Toni slapped her forehead. God, she had been so stupid! It was Brad she should be mad at, not Diane! Diane was just an innocent victim to Toni’s two-timing boyfriend. Poor girl probably let him ravage her. She just didn’t know how to handle a man. Maybe when all this was over, Toni could tell her a few things about men and boys, and Diane could tell her how to stop Shannon from acting like a hellion. Toni silently slipped out of the classroom, calmly exited the school, and drove like a madwoman to Firestation 3 to see Brad.

Actually, Diane knows nothing about cars except you have to put gas in them. Toni is the mechanic^^You’re right, *I confused Diane with Delta, who knew more about cars than Brad< oh well, it just goes to show how bad a mechanic Brad really is! lol …. btw, in my story, Diane stays short ;)

@Sideshow Starlet

TJ’s heart raced. Did Ann come back again? However the visitor wasn’t Ann. TJ expected himself to be disappointed, but surprised himself with how happy he was to see his best friend’s (well, probably former best friend’s) dorky little sister. She seemed… taller than he remembered.^^Story #2-Luann walked into the visitor’s room, and picked up the thingy that looked like one of those old fashioned phones people used in the stone age B.C.P. (Before cell phones), she held it to her ear, and TJ did the same, after a short pause, TJ spoke up: “Hey there cheese head, how’s it going?” Luann thought to herself: “How can he still be so glib, while rotting in the slammer?” she composed herself and answered: “Well, same old, same old, no guy, no money, no life…. how about you, brillo head?” Luann suddenly became aware that TJ was staring down her blouse; “Waiting for them to pop out, or something?” she quipped. TJ blushed visibly and feebly answered that it had been awhile since he’d seen her, and added “And you’ve grown so much!” It was now Luann’s turn to blush, she composed herself once more and answered (with that sly little smile she often uses on men, to charm them) :“I guess I have had a bit of a growth spurt in the 3 or 4 months since I last visited with you and Brad; of course, you weren’t a convicted attempted murderer THEN!” The words hurt so much; he was innocent, but, no one seemed to believe it, and to have sweet little Luann, not really known to be vicious (Not counting when she was fighting with Tiff), say something like that, in so cold a manner to him, opened the flood gates, the “boy without emotion” began to cry hard, the only other time he’d cried like this was seeing his Mother in the casket, for the final time…-Brad thought about the night before, the dinner, the uninvited guest, his REAL present, and how his life was now changed, forever… he smiled

Do any of these guys have JOBS?

YIKES

T.C. you showed your hole card too soon .. and she already knew you had her voice record. So that means she’s already undercut your game.

After all of this has ended between, do you think they would ever start dating and become a couple? Who thinks that they will?