The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 25, 2013

Hurry with that new tire!

Hurry! He’s flat lining!

His pressure is falling!

The patient’s young son cries, “Pop!”

He’s just tired after last night’s blowout. It hasn’t been a Goodyear for him. He used to be a real Champion; it’s sad to watch him going down the tubes.

Don’t worry, they’ll patch him up.

The slanty H is a Honda logo.

Do they even MAKE a 14" tire anymore?

Ooohh, such a lubricious comment!

This is a case for Dr. Rubber Band Man, or did he retire?

Quick before he perishes.

Wait, He’s got an HMO. He Never got the Roadside Protection Policy. I’m afraid it’s over for him.

He’ll bounce back. Having been around a long time, he has gotten wheel well each time. For a while there, though, he was on the rim of society. He was out of alignment, gone off-road. He had several re-treads and, it is rumored, even resorted to having his lug nuts tightened. .He denies, however, he used steeroids to pump himself up. He does breathe strictly pure nitrogen, and this seems to have helped him maintain balance. He has talked about this on several radial programs..Being such a celebrity puts him under great pressure. Luckily, he found a suitable mate in DOT and she’s keeping him on the necessary PSI. She is his pneumatic Michelin Woman. They have two offspring, Vulcan and Bead. And a dog named Rubber.

A full blown transplant? Have they tried fix-a-flat or stemcell replacement?

He should have re-tired, but with the cost of inflation it was hard to do. He used to be a real stud but now he suffers from mailtruck pattern baldness.

The EMT on the right looks like he could donate a spare tire…

Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard..

The rubber met the road. The road won.

so tired of this

Luckily he put on fresh underwear. No skidmarks….

I admit that I had to google the medical term ‘stat’.

Thanks to all for today’s Pun-daemonium. It’s been a hellish week: The ISOman Cometh!

hasn’t this been retread before?

To the many who are not “tire-minded”, the Michelin Man is a corporate symbol made out of different sized tires. The doctor is requesting a specific size of radial tire.

Thank you, wildcatherder. I thought it was a bandaged person and I didn’t get the Michelin part. Now it makes sense!

need some Crager rims on that gurney

That is the tire size on the Honda Civic.(Also Mazda 3 and VW Golf)Do you know he also has a name.Bim. His dogs name is Bubbles.First radial tires ever made.First used tubes until they began using tubeless construction in the late 60’s.Now we can (but wont) go into a long discussion about tire construction but can you remember:Bias plyBias beltedof course RadialPolyglas, steel belted, fiberglass belted.Remember Uniroyal commercial with the car as a cat “gripping” the road.Time to Retire (Armstong)Spent my whole young life around tires. LOVE the smell. Can sniff it all day.Father was responsible for Uniform Tire Quality Grading. He with two government engineers. Dr Skinner and Dr. Brenner took on the big tire companies to prove you can predict tire wear to some extent so you the consumer can make a good choice for your self rather than some salesman telling you lies. And lie they would.So ever day when ever I look at a tire and the see the numbers and letters for Traction, Treadwear, Temperature I see my father’s legacy. (His primary work was in Treadwear. Ran the UTQG facility located at Goodfellow AFB in San Angelo, Texas)And it is on the Internet.

Love the puns today! And Veteran, thanks for the interesting info! Yes, I remember and always liked that Uniroyal commercial.