Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for February 26, 2013

I wonder if Lord Splendid is based on a real guy.

Yeah, wait till the Knights Who Say Ni come around and then see how splendid your humility is.

Well unicorns take rejection kind of well. but maybe unicorns understand the drive of other unicorns to uphold a reputation. Also if a Unicorn can live off of just a few berries a day thats actually not a bad place to hang out. Still it is kind of small. Is he a small Unicorn, really good at folding him self or is he in infinite space that has an exit portal to said bush that he just sticks his horn out of it? At least he can enjoy knowing he was loved and Marigold gets to know at least she tried. I wounder if she’ll still obsess over him of if she’ll find a new crush? Or maybe this was her 1st time trying some thing like this and she just sent a card to the popular guy to see how it goes.

I look forward to seeing how this all plays out and what happens next.

…What’s he doing in there? ಠ_ಠ

It is a good shrubbery.

I do not think that this is the end of it. I remember those heart shaped pupils. A mare in heat does not take no for an answer. Her metaphorical heart has just been stabbed.

Considering how low that bush is, I’m guessing that Lord WhatsHisFace may be just a wee bit on the vertically challenged side.

If you believe you are the most humble, you aren’t.

I find it a bit tragic that Marigold’s heart was impaled.

So it appears we will never actually see Lord Splendid Humility. Ah, well, Dana knows what she is doing.

Will you please show yourself before you go male unicorn?

Please come out Lord SH, I want to know if it is true that male unicorns have little beards.

Wow a unicorn hermit. .Splendid human humility is totally the opposite. Whoever has it is very social, and treats everyone else like they are more important than themself..I’ve met a number of them. Their eyes sparkle.

We must introduce Lord Splendid Humility to a new philosophy.

PATIENCE. Archibald! Is it possible? Why, let me look! It is! It is! It must be! Oh, how happy I am! I thought we should never meet again! And how you’ve grown!GROSVENOR. Yes, Patience, I am much taller and much stouter than I was.PATIENCE. And how you’ve improved!GROSVENOR. Yes, Patience, I am very beautiful! (Sighs.)PATIENCE. But surely that doesn’t make you unhappy?GROSVENOR. Yes, Patience. Gifted as I am with a beauty which probably has not its rival on earth, I am, nevertheless, utterly and completely miserable.PATIENCE. Oh – but why?GROSVENOR. My child-love for you has never faded. Conceive, then, the horror of my situation when I tell you that it is my hideous destiny to be madly loved at first sight by every woman I come across!PATIENCE. But why do you make yourself so picturesque? Why not disguise yourself, disfigure yourself, anything to escape this persecution?GROSVENOR. No, Patience, that may not be. These gifts – irksome as they are – were given to me for the enjoyment and delectation of my fellow-creatures. I am a trustee for Beauty, and it is my duty to see that the conditions of my trust are faithfully discharged.

According to myth, male unicorns can be captured by a beautiful young maiden, when he lays his head upon her breast and she slips a bridle woven from gold upon his head.

What if it’s all a big scam, and LSH’s splendor is truly humiliating.

Like, what if he actually has a bad case of the lumps, and he drives an SUV from bush to bush and takes the 405.

Like, what if LSH really stands for “Lumpy Space Horsey” and he just stays in a bush to save face… I wonder if Mari would still love him?

::bumps::

Suddenly, I’m imagining him sounding like John Cleese… :)