Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for August 13, 2013

martin’s home-made fountain is the talk of Ballard Street!

My ex live-in wanted a water feature in the yard. I should have done this.

Oh great, Bev… run away and leave me with that water fountain….

Er… sorry….. excuse me for just a minute….

Well, that was a long minute…..

Fenton…. I just put the last of today’s yak ribs in the fridge…I think the Monkey s making more tomorrow.

There’s a big baggie of bones for you to take home, too.

I have to go make about 420 key lime doughnuts at the pie shop for tomorrow…. it would be 498, but Bev is back home now….

I’ll bring a few dozen back to the Tiki before I go home.

I think I’ll have a Red Tail before I go…. my tab should be pretty empty right now.

Thanks.

Hi Susan. Can I buy you a drink? Fenton give Susan what ever she wants, please.

Hi X — I just asked Fenton for a Red Tail on my tab…. but thank you.

Nice to see you!

Would you like a yak rib?

Thanks Susan. Fenton can you pass the Tabasco if you please?

Dogsniff…. rock off?

Rocky horror.

Good night, Susan

Martin quietly chuckles to himself.If only you knew it is septic tank water run off.Enjoy!

Suddenly, I feel an urgent need to go pee.

@Veteran

I certainly hope so. What with the recent drought and the Ballard Street Ban on watering lawns and washing cars only on Tuesdays with an odd number date for the right side of the street and Thursdays with an even number date, for the left siders, I’d hate to see him get in trouble with Walter Waterson III , our City Water and Sewage Commissioner. Walter can be a real stickler for the rules.

I wish that "gif"s had sound.

Martin wuz just in teh Sherrifs Orfice yestiday…. got him a permit….. (not teh permit we sawr lass week… StEL)Hees gott hiz latest bidness venshur….“Martins Yourapeein Water Skapes & Hose Repare”(Hees parently out of pockit at teh moment)8())

He sed he got teh idear wehn he wuz “abroad”now thats a uglee pickshur in mah brain…(always thot he wuz a liddle, yew no… uh, ’fluffy in hiz flipflops")

At least I did a better job on both my waterfalls (and I won’t share photos again because you’ve all seen them many times, I’m sure). The first one I built myself with some rental equipment (backhoe and concrete mixer) over a free base of discarded sidewalk using fancy mica stone from Schwake in Desplaines which I see has moved further from that former home. I selected pieces of pink black and white mica and even some rose quartz at that place. Glad that I brought a few of the loose stones when I moved because new owners demolished it (I’d have been glad to take those if they’d been honest about it). seems I’m just about the only one I know who tells the unvarnished truth

And I need a real giggle and just saw this MANLY fruit drink for the Tiki.

Heck, I’m in such a sour mood, I think I need a whole pile of ‘nanner dakries! When I still have not gotten all the pine needles out of pool bottom, AC has gone off and I don’t trust to call anyone, and my lover seems to be breaking up with me for good . . .IT’S TIME TO DO SOMETHING CRAZY AND INDULGENT (but without alcohol, meat or cheese – and not too dangerous) SO I think I’ll get some painting done for my Barony, and do my workout and try to BREATHE in the optimum 12 second breaths!

I don’t think its connected to their house the hose is coming from the wrong direction.

Almost everybody on Ballard St. suscribes to this magazine:

And this month’s issue was a real hit!

(I have to dash off for now. I’ll be back in about 4 hours or so…)

or….. “frEely DRUNK”….. ah dont no fer shur….

used ta have a sine here sumwares… (clunk..)StEl…?? Wares dat sine..? it WUZ hangin aside taht permit…..

You all have to check out today’s Bushy Tales at Sherpa. Ian is brilliant, just brilliant!

in teh mean tyme ms B…. why doncha come sit a spell an ahl ficks yew up a COLD nannery doubel dakery… on teh house of corpse….. oh,…. wait…..um…. teh floor is still dryin… jus wacksed it… hopes ya dont mined sittin out on behind teh pattyoh….. ahl bring yer dak… an looky…!! ah jusss found sum yakbones tooo…. (no charje..$$)

uhh… okey…gotta go now…. um… gonna go chek teh lox on teh jail sells…. make shur they werkin good…. (ah shud be safe in tehr)

Then she drinks fer free….!

SUSAN isn’t here. Would I do?

Yourapeein. Has a tinkly sound, I mean, a nice ring to it MUNKEY. Are you still hidin…er, checking out the cell?

I am a free woman, so I will take that free drink now.FREE, as in Born Free, NOT free as in loose and fancy free. I am a woman, hear me ROAR. (Oh my, it’s those meds again, isn’t it?)

GOOD NIGHT BALLARDERS.

I’m ready to have a good one, now that I’m cooled off (still need to go upstairs early for a nice long bath) I may have one up there although I put the brandy back in the cupboard. I’ve rally got my celestial seasons, but I’ll have a virtual double Cointreau with Brandy.

What has Cleo done _this_time?

https://cleoandcompany.net/august-13-2023/

It’s sweet that Sarah indulges Martin by referring to it as “the cascading waters” rather than, for instance, “this pile of wet rocks that fell from your head.”

Good morning Balladeers and Tigressy!