Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for August 15, 2013

Gesundheit.

Major gaff, Sir.

Now, let’s see if you can keep a straight face through the rest of the interview.

About now Mr. Neely is thinking the Ted may not be a good fit at Ballard Cat Hair Pillow and Quilting Co.

Thanks, Bev. I’ll have my usual Redbreast Irish with just a splash of water. Sláinte agus sonas !

Maybe Mr. Neeley is going just a little too heavy on the cologne.

Oh…. Bev…. sorry I missed you…. again….. But I’m glad to see that you realised the lights are always ON.Hmmmph.

In spite of all that, I did bring you and StelBel both some tomatoes…. you know the drill.

This was the second-to-last market of the season…. after next week we’re waiting for the tomatoes in my yard….

Shika, I made you a basket too…. they’re in the salon kitchen…. the basket says “Shika”

(ummm…. goood idea Susan…. she’d never find it if it said “Mortimer” or something…..Mistress of he obvious, that’s me)

And I did do your toenails lavender!I just don’t always have a picture, or time to post it…. sorry.

X …. just picturing…. or even thinking about… cat hair pillows has me sneezing….

I hope brain bleach works for that!

X!

Aggghck! Ptouee!

(choke….ck ck cough…) gasp!

For that you owe me a beer!

and atchooo! sniff….

Excuse me everybody while I re-boot…..

no peeking!

It’s a good job Mr Neely works for the Gooey Glue Wig and Denture Fixative Company.

pcolli - well, if he does, I’d say this was not a good advertisement for their products!

Wonder if it knocked his socks off too?

Introductory sneeze? You mean there’s more coming?

He’s hanging on by a thread.

…he’s a bald face liar!…..

For you Happy….Let Your Hare Down….

This is the comforter that I have and I like to use when cold weather arrives (a new one bought last year), nothing but silk inside and out, so no allergies. It won’t be cold here for ages, but this was warm enough back in Illinois too. I often shop at Soft Surroundings. “Chinese silk-filled, luxuriously soft, lightweight comforter with generous sizing keeps you comfortable in every season. And the shell is 100% silk too! An elegant alternative to down quilts, this comforter boasts hand-layered silk floss padding that doesn’t shift.”

“Now I am here to talk to you about allergy medication we want you to market.”At least it was not a juicy one.

On a sadder note.Blue Oyster Cult keyboard player Allen Lanier died. Founding member.Lonely Tear drops.

Susan, I’m getting the mostest attention to my toes, Everybody wants to know who did them! AND they glow in the dark! How did you do that? Was it that new glitter you ordered from the Far East? And they stay toasty warm too! Thanks so much!

Little does the saleman know that the customer he is with is the head of the Lugie Department of Well Being. He will return the favor of an introductory sneeze with a responding lugie.With the blessing: “May the gods of spittle welcome you and yours.”

It is cocktail hour somewhere, which means I now pronounce Thirsty Thursday to be officially in full swing. No more tiny tippling, no more secrete sipping ! I(t’s time to go for the gusto ! Fenton, draw me a pint of your best bitters and back it with a large single malt Irish. Yes, Redbreast would suite fine, thank you, and get all my friends here whatever they’d like.Cheers, mates !

“Yes, but at least it seems to have dislodged that bird’s nest that fell on my head earlier.”

Oh hi Monkey!

Do you remember when I helped YOU triy some new hair colors?

: DOne of them?

2Old…. You’re welcome!

I want to assure you…. ALL my extraordinary hair and nail colors and finishes are formulated right here in Ballard County by x_Tech Industries.

Usually I come up with a design concept, then X and his team work out the implementation…. sometimes we have to adjust a little, but they are amazingly good at it.

Sometimes X will invent a product and we will work out the practical applications….

But I have the exclusive rights to the use and distribution of XTI beauty products, and have been certified at the factory as a Level Four (Level 5 any day now!) XTI Glitterologist.

Marg and I share the distribution rights to Marg and Susan’s Super-Strength Ultra Brain Bleach…

(also known as Susan and Marg’s Ultra Super-Strength Brain Bleach)

also produced (to our specifications) by XTI…. and I work out new the flavors to be formulated and tested by the development team.

Just thought you’d like to know.

Eww. Wasn’t Mr. Neely taught to sneeze into his sleeve?Although that too conjures up unfortunate images.

Thank you SUSAN. My feet have been cold, and the socks covered my toes so I forgot they were done. Perhaps some of the hot nail polish the 2old has would mean I could take my socks off. Lol!

Ooh, I like Munkey’s pink wig! Do you have another one SUSAN?

I’ll have a double old fashioned, LING. Thoughtful of you to offer.

Perhaps Mr. Neely is a carpet-bagger who’s come to pick up old rugs. Dusty old toupees make me sneeze too.

I don’t know why anyone thinks they look younger by changing hair color (especially with less than permanent products) and hair pieces are worse (although I guess I might try extensions) but not if they cause you to need to cut it all off (like Beyoncé, as I heard).

Go ahead Mr. Neeley, laugh out loud. In fact you can throw yourself off the chair, roll around on the carpet and beat your feet on the floor. You can howl, bay and wail. You can make cell calls to your friends. You can record a note to self. You could fart, yell for your Mama, take a picture or call 911. Why because it doesn’t matter, you are history, toast, done, stick a fork in it, done, the whole nine yards, screwed, stewed, whacked and wash out, beat like a drum, you are plunked and you are tapped, that’s right a swing and a miss, head to house, do not pass Go and do not collect $200, you can walk or take a hike, you can skate or simply fade away, it’s usually called “over the top”, but in your case its underwater, hit the road Jack, from here on out its rear view mirror and a whole lot more, you got as much chance as a drunk belly dancer at a Baptist picnic, say bye bye, cause you are outa here.

Hi BEV. You still here?

I am about ready to call it a night. I hope I sleep well tonight. I did last night.

Shika —

I ordered that…. shhh…. wig especially for the Monkey….

He still thinks everyone thought it was his natural hair.

I think it might still be around here…. and he’ll never wear it again…..

It IS a bit small…. but if you want to try t on….

Bev… I just answered you there, before I read this!

Night all.

G’night Happy!

And Bev…. Two can play at THAT game….

Not a contest, Bev!Just amusement.We both win ! :)

Bev! Yay!

Eew.

https double dot double slash cleoandcompany dot net slash august-15-2023 slash

Wow! Lost the watch and everything. And by “everything,” I mean the job/sale/contract you were looking for.

Good morning Balladeers and Tigressy!