Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 02, 2013

Emergency! Call Dr. Scholl!:I actually like this version better than the original, where she whips the children before sending them to bed hungry.

Especially in Rat’s world…

I remember back in Boy Scout camp a fellow trooper did Arnold Schwatzenegger parodies of Mother Goose like “little boy blue… up” or “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick. Jack jumped over the dynamite stick. He wasn’t quick enough because he blew up.”

So she gave them all broth without any bread,And whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed.

What rhyme will it be next?

For a present day update on Jack, read “The Barn” strip for today!!!

I’d like to see if Cartoon Boy can do one of these with fairy tale that is darker than the original. Like Bruno Z pointed out, fairy tales are quite gruesome!

The man’s name was Ed Sullivan. He had a really big shoe.

His family may be through…. but the children will always be underfoot.

This is going to be part of

He really was a heel to his family.

way some houses architecture, a shoe might be built. also, how does she pass the zoning board and the dreaded homeowner’s association.

Aww, Rat, put a sock in it!

It’s about time they got an update

They were gruesome because they were Christian analogies in a time when people believed in Satan and didn’t cringe from “earthiness.”

Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard, to get her poor dog a bone. When she got there the cupboard was bare.So the dog ate her.

The real question is, "Where did an OLD woman get all these kids? Somebody call CPS!

Sweet, I was hoping he would do more of these.

Yaaay!

I used to love that Nursery Rhyme!

Until Rat ruined it.

LOL xxx

I’m surprised no one mentioned the Marine Corps nursery rhymes. Not quotable in a family venue but funny, mostly.

Harsh, Rat, harsh! But entirely fitting in the context of fairy tales as admonitory….

Next up: Rat does story book version of fairy tales as told by Andrew Dice Clay….

Punmeister …

I think that, unfortunately, their little soles have already been booted through that Heavenly Arch….

Their earthly lives didn’t last…but they have gone to a better lace.

At first their father, realising his misstep, was inconsolable, but as soon as Taps was played, he tied one on (there’s a special counter just for heels like him!) …5then he got his podiatrist to prescribe some uppers, And now, he’s already looking for another little woman to give him some support.

Thanks, Punmeister. Yours were clever too.

Um….Pretty please… I’m not “Susie”.

…and then there was Andrew Dice Clay…..I can no longer listen to nursery rhymes !!

Given how Spock’s kids turned out, not even him…

Way too C. Dickens for me.

Smelly houses.