Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 02, 2013
Transcript:
early catalog alert ineffables winter 2000 features objects so vague & insub-stantial they elude precise descrip-tion. tends towards wind-chimey spirituality. does your husband want a dashboard druid serenity shrine? does your wife needs a tibetan healing scrunchie? if so we pity you. condimentia! the source for every relish, spread & sauce necessary to create refrigerator gridlock. vast selection of lethaly hot pepper sauces with undignified names ("wild ed's hellfire-spittin' bowel rocket sauce"). offers the mayonnaise-of-the-month club for the blander palate. power grab 2000 do you have a fidgety executive on your list who'd just love a cell-phone that also stores addresses, schedules meetings, checks stocks, tallies golf scores, measures body fat & cholesterol levels, exchanges foreign currency, locates things by geosynchronous satellite, opens cans & moves cheese? look on page 12. stuff 'n' things super 900 page catalog 2000 gifts so useless that once actually given they cease to be, like some un-stable isotope. lawn ornaments, bar knicknacks, mugs & t-shirts with banalities printed on them, things shaped like cats, novelty oven mitts, etc. in short, the only catalog you'll need. we're doing all our christmas shop-ping right here.
Ida No about 11 years ago
Anyone try Ass in Antarctica yet? That’s on page 4.
Sisyphos about 11 years ago
I get similar catalogues in almost every mail around this time of year. They are amusing, sometimes shocking. On rare occasions I may even buy something, like an Edward Gorey book….
Retired Dude about 11 years ago
Almost anything is better than a Hickory Farms Sampler Pack. Someone gives me one or two of those a year.
Thehag about 11 years ago
May have to put the Dashboard Druid Serenity Shrine on my list! Heh heh heh. ….Oh that’s right I made my own last Solstice.
Thehag about 11 years ago
And I happen to have one of those sauces. ‘After Death’ It makes a good insect spray when sieved and mixed with water.
ChessPirate about 11 years ago
Ah, but where does it move cheese? Great strip Richard, I laughed several times(nearly twice per quadrant!).
Ida No about 11 years ago
NOTICEAccording to the GoComics facebook page, Richard fell and broke his hip a couple days ago. You can get more information on his upcoming hip replacement surgery at his facebook page.
Ermine Notyours about 11 years ago
When was this comic with the Powergrab 2000 first published? Powergrab 2000… Powergrab 2000…. When I figure it out I’ll tell you ;)
maybeinthenextworld about 11 years ago
National Mayonnaise of the month. Sign me up!