Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 28, 2014

Shoot, Duck, Shoot!!!

How considerate — a deadly weapon that doesn’t go “boom” and wake everyone up.

My eyes, my eyes!!!

This is what’s known as the Guard Duck Corollary, if Pastis is killed, little ole Guard Duck dies too.

Pastis almost pasted by duck.

You know most artists draw themselves looking a bit better than they really are. You know, a little more buff, taller, better looking in general. This really doesn’t say much for Stephan. :)

It’s OK. If Little Guard Duck shoots Pastis, LGD’s cousin AFLAC will take care of the bills.

If you come with me Guard Duck I will give you half of what I find in the frig ! Dang gone munchies !

Stephan could just rub him out …

A twang, not a boom, very rare for Guard Duck.

Use the RPG Guard Duck!

Now it is a horror strip – put on some clothes man.

I like the “sleep with a hat on” getup. Classy!

And every good vigilante knows when to duck.

Aim for his Oompa Loompas !!!!!

Couldn’t sleep, so head for the kitchen, hmm? I guess that explains the Dunlap’s Disease there, pasty white Cartoon-Boy! Li’l Guard Duck is on the job, on the alert, on the qui vive, and on your case with silent weaponry. Yes, you could try offering a bribe. It might even work; after all, LGD is a mercenary. Feelin’ lucky, punk?

Ugh…why do I read this stupid strip?

With a body like that Stephen you need to tip toe to the gym!

“Quack like a duck, boy!”

All right Pastis. Look around, is this where you want to be? Rat and Pig are good buddies but in the grand scheme of things the wife probably wasn’t asking much of you, was she?

What I’ve always liked about the guard duck is, it’s taken from real life. Ducks have been used to guard homes for a very long time.

There’s always one…

xxx

this strip is more about the cartoonist than the characters

I was wondering if Stephan had forgotten LGD. Good to see him again.

Uh, Stephen, are you okay? I hope it isn’t true about you and your wife :(