Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 24, 2014

Rat, you will have to improve your darts technique.

With that technique, Rat might be better suited to weather forecasting.

When it says “you win a lollipop”, does that mean the doctor gets the lollipop or the patient?

“Two darts out of three?”

That’s about the way things are going.

Rat must be on the approved Humana doctors list.

A lot quicker tho…

Maybe Rat should use a chuck-a-luck wheel.

Mr. Johnson should dart out the door.

Rat’s most accurate diagnosis yet!

Used to be doctors could diagnose illnesses without a thousand test – ’course that was before mass malpractice suits.

Comes with all the additional lab fees too!

The diagnosis is completely accurate – of course, it may take seventy years or so…

What’s the diagnosis if Rat hits the bulls eye?

This must be an Aflac ad; I look at Rat and I hear, “Quack, quack, quack…”

What the?

xxx

Medical tests should not be conducted in the presence of the victim patient. But at least Rat’s is free of technobabble!

And with that we have yet again a proof of Godwin’s Law.

Rat, you left “HMO Patient – No Help” off your board.

The closest Rat ever came to medicine was stocking Dr Pepper on grocery store shelves!

He should do a spin.