Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 04, 2014
July 03, 2014
July 10, 2014
Transcript:
chagrin falls "soccer fixer" gavin: i thought i'd try watching world cup soccer, but wow, is this a dumb sport! fifa: pardon me. i'm the fifa soccer commissioner. i was walking by and overheard you. we're looking for ways to make our sport more popular. gavin: well, i've got plenty of ideas to fix it! each goal counts for nine points! you can use your hands for one minute out of every five! lightning round! the last ten minutes are played with six balls on the field! no ties! every minute in overtime, the goals are widened by one yard! on player on each team can carry a padded stick! plus water obstacles! t.v. timeouts with cheerleaders and fan prize kicks! opening theme song by billy ray cyrus! fifa: you've done it! you made soccer a popular sport around the world! gavin: good 'ol american ingenuity! spanish lady: gavin, i'm from the world spanish council. can you make our language more popular? gavin: sure! first, no more rolling r's. i mean, what's that about? next, "burro" is out! just call them what they are: donkeys! then.... spanish lady: bueno! mas manana
!['Tom The Dancing Bug' Turns 20: Ruben Bolling's Award-Winning 2017 [Interview]](https://assets.gocomics.com/uploads/blogs/blog_image_large_4068_7479_Tom_The_Dancing_Bug_20th_Anniversary_201706271720.jpg)
kapock over 10 years ago
No need to trouble yourself, Gavin: I’m afraid international soccer matches may already be, ahem, fixed.
Richard Howland-Bolton Premium Member over 10 years ago
But football (not the stupid American version of Rugger with bicycle helmets that involves more measuring than any sport apart from the long jump, I mean REAL football) already is the most popular sport.
MrsSnape over 10 years ago
Make biting optional!
Donaldo Premium Member over 10 years ago
Put Ann Coulter on goal
Packratjohn Premium Member over 10 years ago
“You Don’t Have to Live Like A Referee”…. recent Simpsons episode.
puddleglum1066 over 10 years ago
Too late, Reuben… as of a couple days ago, Americans are again free to ignore soccer.
tomfromthe50s Premium Member over 10 years ago
Make the field smaller! (Of course, then you’d have fewer seats to sell, so that won’t happen.)
tobybartels over 10 years ago
>If the OWNERS are being paid, it is no longer a sport; it’s a business [and therefore the workers, although called players, should be paid too].
Fixed that for you ;-)
(Or would you want to arge that American college football is not big business?)
wintermute115 over 10 years ago
tomfromthe50s: Nike ran a series of commercials in 2002 that might appeal:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Wi9cBcO_gE