For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for May 03, 2010

I love Elly but I can’t stand Anne honestly.

My parents never had parenting books. They had the most unconventional and creative methods I thought. As a teenager my brother kept loosing his temper and going around slamming doors so one night he did it and my dad stood up and said, “That is enough! You go apologize to that door right now!!” Dad made him do it too! And that was the end of the door slamming. lol

I went through a phase of saying, “Sorry!!” really sarcastically in response to everything. One day my dad looked at me and said, “Did you know that the Sauri (pronounced sorry) is a type of garment from India?” And I just looked at him like, “WHY are you telling me this?!!” So ever time after that that I moaned “So-rry!” at someone my dad would yell from across the house, “India!!” This went on for weeks until finally it annoyed me so much I quite. That’s right, my dad out annoyed a teenager.

But probably the best was the Christmas fudge. Our parents gave each of us three kids a piece of fudge Grandma had sent us. Since it was late in the evening and they didn’t want three sugared up kids they were small pieces. As soon as my brother saw his piece he started complaining, “Is that it? We got a whole box? Why can’t we have more?!” Without saying a word my dad reached over and cut my brother’s piece in half. My brother freaked, “What’re you doing?! Now it’s even smaller!!” and so on. With each complaint the piece got cut in half again, and again, and again… until it was smaller than a postage stamp and my dad looked at my brother and said, “Now…anything to say?” My brother looked at this tiny little piece and gulped and said, “Umm, no, it’s a, uh, nice shape, nice color. I’m good. Thank you.” LOL To this day my sis and I repeat that as our favorite Christmas story. ;)

So I think my parents creative rather than strict or “by-the-book” method worked just fine. Unconventional perhaps but I laugh at the Sorry/Sauri thing now instead of having bitter memories of being yelled at or grounded or something.

Thank you for the interesting story, Kaytebb

Sounds like parents we’d all like to have had.

Thank you for sharing that Kaytebb. I have to say, my parents never used books and I’ve come out just fine.

Anne should spend less time reading and more time playing. I’m not a parent but once I am, I know mum’s all I need!

Well, my ‘rents didn’t go overboard on parenting books, but they DID use Dr. Spock….and a few humorous books, including one called “What Dr. Spock Didn’t Tell Us”, and a couple by the Berenstains Of Berenstain Bear fame.

my folks practiced what my mother called “benign neglect”..my dad called it “branding us and turning us loose”. As long as I worked my butt off on the ranch after school, and didn’t get thrown in jail, I was cool.

That was hilarious Kaytebb… :)

My parents just made me look at all the options of every decision I made when I was a kid. For example, if I didn’t want to do my chores one day, I would have more to do the next day, etc. Although my favorite was our regular “cleaning day”, and if I wasn’t up by 9am in the morning, my Dad (who was not a small man) would launch himself into the air from my bedroom door and land on my bed, with me underneath his body weight. If that doesn’t get you up, I don’t know what will… lol

Keytebb, your parents sound so cool! You’re right, it’s better to do what they did than yell and scream and punish. I loved the story about the fudge! I hope I can be like that. Sometimes I yell and feel guilty for it…and give my son a big hug. And, I do use the time out chair. And, I have read parenting books, which I found useless. My favorite book of all time was the pregnancy bible. It showed in real, not illustrated pictures of a fetus and how it was growing and changing week by week. Ok, I am off topic, and I apologize.

As for Anne, what does that say about you, that your parents got it wrong?? Children do not come with instruction manuals, but if they did, I think on page one it would say “Parents know nothing, and children know everything”. However, most children grow out of that idea as they mature and realize that they may have very different ideas from their parents. I guess Anne missed that page in the manual.

I don’t want to go into my parents’ parenting style vs. mine, but it is a struggle every day to not turn into them.

Funny stories, Kaytebb! They sound like great parents.

If I contrast my parents with my wife’s, I’m glad I had mine, though they were anything but perfect. At least the scars they left were fairly superficial, and we get along great these days. My wife and her sister hated theirs back then and still do. There are bad parents out there.

Great stories, Kaytebb. Way better than getting knocked across the room, like some of us were.

God bless you Kaytebb. Too many of us were neglecte, abused, assaulted and then blamed for what we received. What the heck? We were children and we caused the parents, uncles and aunts to be abusive.

I don’t worry about turning into my parents. I am aware that they behaved the way they did because they are poor, uneducated, and desperate. I’m certain my mother suffers from chronic depression. I don’t hate them, but neither do I associate with them. I escaped with books instead of drugs, and now I am educated, and likely to be successful. I don’t know if I will have children, but if I do, I am confident I will be a good mother.

Whoa @John Pike…kids do NOT cause adults to be abusive!

Adults choose to be abusive, to be undisciplined in their words and actions; they choose to let their own anger control them, instead of controlling their anger.

I trust you were just being sarcastic!

There are parents who are afraid to discipline. They’re afraid that life will cease to be “fun.”

I always thought discipline was the road to family fun.

If I was confident that my kids would behave themselves on trips and in restaurants, well, we went on more trips and restaurants and other places without category.

One indicator of problems down the line are families where the adults don’t eat meals with the kids.

my mom used a book, it was the closest thing she could find to smack my butt when i cursed at her when i was 12

Kaytebb, that was an awesome story, and your parents were very creative!

Parenting is the hardest job there is, and Most do the very best they can. No one is perfect. Including Anne, and of course Elly.

MrsLuke, I know you get attacked a lot for what you say, so I will attempt not to sound scathing. Your comment was cold and cruel. Have you Ever had an abusive parent? Because I had Both. And yes, I was taken away and put in the custody of the state. Elly has her issues sure. We ALL do. Even You.

But John, and Elly do the Best They Can. They are human..and they are parents, and they WILL make mistakes. Is it right that Elly is hypersensitive? And seems to yell a lot? No…perhaps not. But is she beating her children with a Wire Hanger like ohhh I dunno, supposedly Joan Crawford did? Have we seen Any physical abuse? Does she starve her children? Lock them up? No. she doesn’t.

At Worst what she does, is yell a bit more, get snippy a little bit more. And otherwise tends to be a bit whiny, and doesn’t say what she wants clearly.

Certainly Not deserving of the Mother Dearest award.

In the end, all I’m saying is to think before comparing. Are you a mom? If so….are you a perfect mom? Can you say that?

As for those parenting books? To be honest? I think what that says of Anne, is that she is not confident to be a parent. She’s Afraid of making the wrong choices, she’s afraid of making mistakes. She has a desire to Be the perfect mom, but she’s forgetting that those mistakes will help her become better.

In short she needs to think for herself. Those authors Don’t know what is good for every child and parent. For every child and parent is different.

Thousands of years of parenting has created some pretty good peeps, and sadly yes bad ones. Believe it or not, the good has outweighed the bad. People need to believe in their abilities.

Aaaand thats it’s for my long ramble. Sorry if I stepped on any toes.

I’m sorry I’m not being sarcastic or provocative but please explain something to me. If it pains people so much to read these comics because of your anger at the characters or it brings out past experiences why do you continue to do so? It seems very masochistic to me. These are reruns. The characters are NOT going to change. We know the outcome.

I read only the comics that I find enjoyable, make me laugh or make me think. The others that disturb me, anger me or are just plain strange find their way in the trash heap.

It’s not worth it to me to boil up and have anger eat me alive. I can feel the anger and seething with some of the postings. Believe me it’s not worth it.

Let me reiterate I don’t care that you have a different opinion than mine. That’s true. It’s the repetitiveness of it.

I have a few questions for you. Honestly what did the link do for your Mrs.Luke? It certainly didn’t soften you. You are so gleeful in pointing it out though. You have such a rigidness toward people that I just don’t understand. Lynn Johnston had a painful life that came through with the rearing of her children. She sought help and yet you still come down with the hammer and label her as a witch (and Elly) and you are relentless each and every day. It’s almost a crusade with you.

I’m sorry that the world is imperfect and we don’t live up to your standards.

That’s my swan song BTW. I’m through with the drama and will read my comics the old fashioned way through the newspaper.

This whole thing has just saddened me.

Remember we are seeing a short period of time in Elly’s 24 hour a day. A comic strip showing her making beds, scrubbing floors, cooking, doing laundry would be pretty dull. So if we see her lose her cool a couple of times, like all parents, that doesn’t necessarily mean she is the worlds worst parent or witch. BTW, my parents were cold, but not mean. I feel so sorry for so many of the commenters who must have a difficult time growing up that this strip touches such a nerve.

Nobody seems to have noticed that if Anne’s parents raised her all wrong, she must be a failure as a person!

When I was small, there was always something to read in the bathroom. My mother usually left Dr. Spock there. I used to read it very carefully, to check whether I was behaving properly for my age (that is, according to what he said I should be doing).

I remember reading about some - long word I didn’t recognize - and he said to “just give her a napkin and explain things”. I was very puzzled. What was he talking about? What significance could a table napkin have? He didn’t explain anything in the book!

I remember he said that the child always takes the side of one parent or the other, and I thought he was really ignorant, because when my parents got in a fight, I thought they were both in the wrong! Neither one was listening to what the other one was saying! But how could a child tell that to their parents? Especially when it’s not useful to say something like that - you have to be able to suggest behaviour that is more likely to work, and I had long since grown up before I discovered things like that.

Looks like its a big Monday here. A lot of loooong comments. Howtheduck: Thanks for the wonderful interview. I’m a bigger fan of Lynn Johnston than ever now. For all the people whose feathers are ruffled, it’s cocktail hour.

It sounds like you had great parents Kaytebb.

I once heard a talk given at my church where the speaker told us about her son and his two friends.

The 3 boys played in the mud and got thoroughly caked.

When the speaker’s son came home in that condition, she didn’t know what to say…so she just had him take a bath and asked what the other boys’ parents had said.

The first boy had gotten royally reamed for getting so dirty and his mother grounded him.

The other boy had gone home and his mother had laughed and said, “Aren’t you a masterpiece!”

The speaker went on to say that she has since tried to live up to the standards of that last boy’s mother.

Great link, Howtheduck, thanks! In light of some of today’s comments, this quote from Lynn’s interview jumped out at me:

“Years ago, one person wrote to me and accused me of being an amateur psychologist. I wrote back to her and said, “Yes, I am an amateur psychologist.” We all are. That’s how we get through life. That’s how we figure out our relationships with people. And I wrote to her, “As an amateur psychologist, I wonder what is upsetting you so much that you would be angered by a comic strip? What else in your life is upsetting you?” I’m sure she was miffed by that.”

Hi Big Hug:

I think the comments are very sad as well. And to Susan and little dutch boy, I agree. What a very sad situation that we cannot just listen to one another without judging.

jump4joy… you took the words right out of my mouth!

Kaytebb, I loved those stories! Katelina… some folks are just trolls… they feed off getting a rise out of people with their negative gunk. I’ve learned to recognize names and skip every single thing they write.

“You can’t crush ideas by suppressing them. You can only crush them by ignoring them.” Vachel Lindsay. Replace the word “ideas” with “trolls.” :)

Jump4joy… I loved your quote!

Those who think Elly is a bad parent have never seen a truly bad parent. I worked in Children’s Protective Services and Foster Care for years and I’ve seen it all. She has never thrown her kid against a wall and paralyzed her, she has never held her kids face in a scalding sink and scarred her for life, she has never thrown her kid in the river and left it for dead – and these were just 3 of my cases. She is not anywhere near a bad mother in my book. She may be neurotic, but who isn’t?

Charges of emotional abuse rarely (virtually never) hold up in court – and I had a few of those too. She has not stunted the kids’ growth by neglecting them, she has not made sexual perverts out of them by having sex in front of them, and she has not used them to get back at the other parent in a divorce case. When she does any of these things, I’ll agree she is a bad parent – not until.

Katalina DuBois Thanks for that I couldn’t have said it better myself. And I think from her posts, that I wouldn’t want to know Mrs Luke. Seems like a very angry woman, This is a comic, only a comic. Stop being so weird about it. No wonder Lynn stopped.