Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 11, 2015

Question: If peanut oil is made by grinding up peanuts, how is baby oil made?

Oner thing I don’t understand about MY windbreaker is the hood won’t stay up when pulled over my head when it’s windy outside (it doesn’t come with those tightening strings).

Sherlock, have you read AB’s “Oil of Dog”?

Then there’s the plastic surgeon who sat too close to the heater and melted.Or the paper shop that blew awayin the storm.Or …….

I’ve never been able to figure out how a tiebreaker works!The other day, in the back of a store, I saw a sign on a door that said “Break Room.”What kind of scary stuff do they do in there??And what’s scarier is, I’ve been told there are some big ranches where they break horses!

Somebody should do something!

I wouldn’t try to draw analogies if I were you, Pig. It’s above your, uhh, “pay” grade….

I think the jacket material should be called GoreTenn.

“So my windbreaker breaks wind.”No. That’s what cheese cutters are for.

And I’ve got some news for you about those Girl Scout cookies….

Careful Pig or Pigita will become a Jawbreaker.

I love how all the female animals in this strip have hair, just so that we can tell which gender is which :p

I could go for some Mexican food.

That’s probably the funniest thing I will encounter all day.

If tin-whistles are make of tin, what are foghorns made of?

I don’t think I have ever heard a Cat Fart, and I had 3 of dem.

And rumor has it that for every $4.00 box of cookies, only 25¢ goes to the Girl Scouts. A ripoff for sure.

Ever notice how the girl scouts don’t even sell them? Their parents hawk them at work or in front of stores and supermarkets. So much for the lessons to be learned in “marketing” a product.

What about baby oil?

I wonder if Pig knows the difference between Mashed Potatoes and Pea Soup?

Al Gore is certainly big enough to accept responsibility for all this….

The stuff was originally called “Duck Tape” and used by the military to protect rifles when soldiers had to cross rivers. Them someone used it to fix an air duct — and marketed it with a revised name.BTW – There is now a product on the market called “Duck Tape”

So why is it that we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Yes pig, it breaks the wind, like trees are used as a wind break.

i simply love the english language – it is sooooo flexible in what it means and how you use it.iffen a crackerain’t a crackerthan how come bangers and mashcan’t be fire crackers and punches?suppose we drink popand pop a pillwhile a dilly becomes a silly in a willy nilly??not to mention way out far out and farm outor just a shout out before a shoot out.that nag has four legs but the nag that is nagging sure doesn’t.-now some of you don’t stay up too late figuring this out – not worth it :)

Why do we call those big structures “buildings” when they’ve clearly already been “built?” And if seat belts save lives, why do electric chairs have them? So many wondrous ponderous things.

Yes, take that jacket back…it stinks

and why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Now just look what you’ve started here, Mr. Pastis.

Loved the strip today. So appropriate since my Grandson & I were breaking wind last night.

And a heartbreaker is… Well, I think Pig will find that out at the end of his date.

xxx

I’ve actually eaten shepherd’s pie…

Where are the crocs? Its too quiet around here.

If vegetarians eat only vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

OK—this one made me laugh.

I feel like I’m in the third grade again, but still.

Useless fact: The word feisty (and please: it’s not “fiesty”) comes from an Old English word meaning “to break wind.” Originally referred to (ironically) dogs. You can look it up.

Blargh, I thought we would never see this $#!¥¥! €!¥#$ again!

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. Now you know why they call it a workstation.