Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 19, 2015

New page every day, throw out yesterday’s, a constant work in progress.

It’s rational to check the user interface for some kind of interactive help.

It’s very simple… I’m the woman and you’re the man… I (the woman) make the rules… if you (the man) ever figure out what the rules are I change the rules…

I’m sure there used to be a Quick Start Guide but I haven’t seen one recently.

Women are easy to stand under….

Since when do men actually read instruction manuals? :P

women..use and care manual….oua;ejhd ;laljr a. ;oalif aj;a fno;adina;lcja;sldk ja;ldjaLD..dkda;ekdjmvm..lsdjfca fjdkal;dkaidkik dka akiod, kdial a dkiald ..LD…aoiekdkja… 1 xxx xxx xxxx..

A much better comeback would have been “Yes, here are your instructions” and hands him a really thick book.

or the bill….

Imagine the sales of that book.

Mine would probably be mostly pictures, and any text would be in confusingly broken English.

Merlin knew the answer:.How to handle a woman< /a>

If he can’t understand why “Thanks for the mammaries” isn’t the best way to end a date, then Bob’s hopelessness is all on him.

Try John Gray’s book.

Eeh.

Bobs only hope is for her instinct to mate and have babies exceeds her commonsense. Happily it worked for me.

The Honey Do List is an instruction manual but not the type that Bob was expecting or needs.

My user manual can fit on a 3 × 5 card…

I will not lieI will not cheatI will not steal

I just keep pushing buttons until it does what I want or crashes completely

My wife phoned me and asked me to bring home 7-Up. I said, “OK, 7-Up.” I got 7-Up on my way home, and put it on the kitchen table. She said, “Where’s the ginger ale?”You can’t win, or even tie.

If all else fails, RTFM.

Problem is those of programers are marginally illiterate.

It’s real easy. Whatever you say or do, it’s wrong.

I don’t think Bob Hope ever gave up…..?

@ Gokie5The real problem is that their refrigerator isn’t big enough.

So, I make real good ginger ale from lemons, ginger, sugar, and water, and fill a 5 gallon soda keg in my homebrew draft system. In a week or two, it’s carbonated, and I announce that it’s ready. Six weeks after that, I have drunk the last of it, she goes to get some, and squawks that it’s all gone, she only got two glasses, and I’m consuming too much sugar.

I’ve been married twice & had 5 daughters… it took me a long time to figure out that females do not think the way males do.I can look at a wall & see blue paint, a picture of a sailboat & a window. Most any guy I know will see ‘about’ the same thing I see when I look at that wall.For a great many years (almost forever) I figured the females in my life saw the same thing on that wall, we had common ground.Turns out I was wrong. I’m not sure what “she” sees when she looks at that wall but it’s not blue paint, a picture of a sailboat & a window. I have to keep in mind that my basic expectations (on everything) are not the same as her’s.Knowing that I have no idea what’s going on has helped a tiny bit…

Wrong title – The instruction book is called a “Wuh-manual.”

Isn’t Facebook/social media the new instruction manual? You can learn everything you never wanted to know about a person on social media these days.

A friend of mine with 9 kids (5 daughters) and 3 sisters explained it to me very simply: “They’re just from a different planet.” Case closed.

I saw Danny Thomas in Vegas a number of years ago and he explained that the secret of the success of his long term marriage (a rarity in Hollywood) was that he and his wife made a deal on their wedding day – he got to make all the big decisions and she got to make the little ones. He was asked what the difference was. He replied: “Its a big decision whether the U.S. goes to war. A little decision would be where we live, what I do for a living, etc.” When asked how many big decisions he had made in the 37 years they’d been married he replied: “None, but I’m ready”.

But guys don’t read instruction manuals!

A number of years ago while at dinner with my second wife and her adult daughter. I went to say something and was commande by both to shut up. This happened again a few months later. A few weeks ago, they had another conversation that bothered me and I left. When I came home several hours later my wife asked me why I left and I reminded her of the incidents several years before. Her only request is that I inform her I’m leaving.

Direct quote from my wife: “It wouldn’t matter if we did, because y’all never read the instructions.”

No Instruction Manual. There is a Guide Book Compendium. But you have to be female to get access.