Brevity by Dan Thompson for July 16, 2015

Last year’s Saladictorian gave a really lovely commencement a-dressing.

Piquant, with just a touch of sweetness… no cheesy sedimentality…it showed that she was a seasoned speaker.

Oh my, this year’s choice looks a bit green…so young and tender…but I hear he’s got a good head on his shoulders.

In fact, he’s headed for the Mayo Clinic, after he leaves here.

Did you know his father played for Hidden Valley in the 1997 Salad Bowl?

“Fellow graduates…Today is a very special day on the colander. Lettuce always remember….”

Salad: an annual event.

Aw. It’s just a popularity contest. Gonna be kale this year. Just like arugula last year.

Endiving to learn what his g.p.a. was.

Lettuce not be to judge mental about Dan’s attempt at humor today. He has lowered the salad bar on this one.

Courtney Cox is H.V. Ranch addict. She was on Anderson Cooper’s show and said they like to stop at quaint, little, out of the way restaurants. She asks right away if they have Hidden Valley Ranch dressing. Often they answer, “Oh, we have our own homemade Ranch”! Then Courtney replies “BBRRRRRR. Wrong answer”!! And they leave {;-)

You’re about to be tossed out into the world. Some of you will be eaten up.

Pretty soon they’ll all be raking in the cabbage.

…accepting for Ranch is Italian Dressing.