PreTeena by Allison Barrows for September 14, 2020

It could be a lot worse – and generally is. Before naming a child (or pet) be aware of all of the nicknames both cute and cruel the child is stuck with; pity the child who has to spell his/her name every time when asked his/her name, and pity the poor teacher who has to remember the dozen different spellings of a name and the unique pronunciation of the name. True story: Child’s name was pronounced ‘fee-mall-ee’ and spelled ‘Female’. The family could not decide on a name so the doctor wrote ‘female’.

Moon Unit.

Dweezil.

Blanket.

Nowadaze, unusual naming would get the parent (s) charged with Child Abuse!

There was a mother a few years ago who tried to register her daughter calling her Chlamydia because she thought it sounded nice. Thankfully she wasn’t allowed to.

Social security says “Karen” is falling out of favor.

There’s only so many variations on the name you can put on one name until it gets so confusing.

A woman wakes up from a coma and…A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.

Woman: Oh no not my brother! He’s an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?

Doctor: Denise

Woman: Oh that’s not that bad. What did he name my son?

Doctor: Denephew

What’s with the apostrophe in the middle of a name? Looks like a hiccup.

I once saw a list that included students named Luke and Leia Skywalker. I’m pretty sure it was real. And what’s with the trend of naming girls “Princess”? It’s a fine nickname, but just imagine having to introduce yourself that way for an interview.

Once met a publisher’s rep named “Valentine.” He was born on Halloween. Two weeks early. Do the math.

Then there’s little Bobby Tables… https://xkcd.com/327/

I’m wondering if any babies that were born between March and now were given the name “Covid”