Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for August 18, 2015

Cos’ never was the reason…

I wish it were that easy to get a new heart. I would definitely get in line.

Mmmmm… Bacon! The food of the gods.

Bacon is not made with a pig heart but still funny.

I actually had a triple bacon cheeseburger last night that was too much bacon. I left one of the slabs of Canadian Bacon on my plate, sigh… (And chopped up another with a knife and fork.)

Bacon SHOULD lubricate the metal parts. . . . . . You just can’t get good metal men these days. . . . . . . . . Needa, they were not meaning porcine heart, hardening effects on human vasculature. or in this instance, Ozian.

I read that every slice of bacon you eat takes 5 minutes off your total lifespan. In that case I should have died in the year 1738.

Yes, but with all the preservatives you could be on display for the next millennium…

Whoever said a slice of bacon takes 5 minutes off your total lifespan lied. The fact is, if you cut out eating everything that’s “bad” for you, you’ll be dead in less than 2 weeks.

The ghoul doesn’t look impressed by that excuse either.

Ahhhh, bacon is the best smell in the world! And my son cooks his on the grill! The whole neighborhood was drooling.

We take our deer roasts and cure them to make maple smoked bacon and maple smoked ham. Delish.

Probably artificial bacon.

It’s the grease…

Does that include Kevin and his brother? Or did you need six degrees from him? I know that I’m stretching it a bacon bit.

Bacon fat saved my life when I was 6 months old. As an infant, I had my first bout of Crohn’s disease (inherited from my Dad’s side of the family; it killed both him and his parents. But I digress.)

After an episode of major loss of weight because I couldn’t absorb any nutrients (one of the many impacts of this digestive disorder), I landed in the hospital on IVs, and the doctor who stabilized my condition told my folks to take me home and feed me bacon fat.

At the time, my parents were observant Jews who kept kosher, so they asked if chicken fat would be ok. The doctor was emphatic that it had to be bacon fat; said infants needed fat to thrive and bacon fat was the best.

To understand the significance of that, you need to realize that in the 1950’s most doctors had little or no education on nutrition, and hardly anybody had any idea that digestive disorders like Crohn’s could affect infants.

I’ve eaten bacon since then. I have a lot of health problems, having Crohn’s disease, but blocked arteries and heart disease are not among my medical issues….

Me too. Long live bacon!

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