New Adventures of Queen Victoria by Pab Sungenis for June 14, 2010

No, the game is “soccer”, not “sock ‘er”!

Hey… No, put the vuvuzela down. Put it down! Don’t you dare…

It’s fútbol, Gringos! Those Yankees tied your team, Queen. If Tim Howard were English, he’d have been knighted by now.

Maybe if Americans had vuvuzelas, we’d be more enthusiastic about the game. They beat air horns.

Actually, the word soccer originated in Britain. There were several different sports already called football being played, from Rugby to the Eton Wall Game. The name comes from the letters “soc” in “Association Football.”

Then there’s “footy.” And Aussie Rules Football, which is just the kind of game you’d expect a bunch of ex-prisoners to create. (“Oh, a beautiful right to the jaw!”)

Sometime, Somewhere, when you least expect it……………. MONDAY STRIKES!!!!!

Yes, Sheik, FÚTBOL, In 1968 I was on a team (the only gringo) that whupped a Norwegian team 17-2. You played with our bunch only if you hablaba. VIVA EEUU!

She’d be more enthusiastic if England had won outright.

I don’t know why they’re trying to get the World Cup here. Like the Olympics it’s an expensive and destructive event, but I’m not a sports fan.

From Wikipedia:The vuvuzela, sometimes called a “lepatata” (its Setswana name) or a stadium horn, is a blowing horn approximately 1 m (3 ft 3 in) in length. It is commonly blown by fans at football matches in South Africa. The instrument requires some lip and lung strength to blow and emits a loud monotone (B♭). A similar instrument (known as corneta in Brazil and other Latin American countries) is used by football fans in South America. Vuvuzelas have been controversial. They have been associated with noise-induced permanent hearing loss,[4] cited as a possible safety risk when spectators cannot hear evacuation announcements,[5] and potentially spread colds and flu viruses on a greater scale than coughing or shouting. Commentators have described the sound as “annoying” and compared it with “a stampede of noisy elephants,” “a deafening swarm of locusts,”[9] “a goat on the way to slaughter” and “a giant hive full of very angry bees.” The sound level of the instrument has been measured at 127 decibels contributing to matches with dangerously high sound pressure levels for unprotected ears.

There are those oafs who think it somehow adds to the fun to deafen and annoy people - oh yes, and by sickening them in greater numbers??

Those are the same people who still try to start the wave at every baseball game I go to.

(B♭)

Is that the “Brown Note”?

But my joke doesn’t work with “fútbol”.