Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for November 10, 2015

You want a real head cracker, Mr. Freeze can crack and smack em all, then put em on ice.

Does the “cracking” motivate the “heads” to make the things happen, or is it okay if the “cracked heads” don’t survive the experience?Also, do you pay promptly upon proof of “cracking”?

Sounds like a job for a brain surgeon.I know it isn’t a thoracic surgeon because that would be a chest cracker.I’m looking forward to the days of non-invasive remote manipulation. So far, they’ve only got radiotherapy and ultrasound, used mainly by oncologists and urologists, and neither of those technologies are capable of the delicacy required in the case of when heads need to be cracked. There’s the gamma knife, sure, but its use is limited and wholly destructive.But that doesn’t help you at all.Try Undercovercops dot com. They’ve got anything you need.

Crack heads are getting more scarce now.It’s all meth heads these days.Things change so quickly!

You must first supply me with a properly equipped medieval torture chamber. There, I will have the appropriate head-cracking device. And I will be happy to crack heads for you. I also do eyeball gouging, tongue extraction, and a host of other thoroughly nasty activities. I shall strictly respect your privacy.Oh, did I mention that you will also have to secure my release from this abominable psych ward? —In American parlance….

I’m more of a nutcracker … but can I help.

I crack nuts. Not as lethal, but still good at “making certain things happen”.(Sorry, can’t figure out whether the period goes inside the quotes or outside if it’s not a full sentence.)

I believe the correct term is “facilitator”.

I am man your.

Polly wants a cracker…