Monty by Jim Meddick for October 23, 2015

It’s good to enjoy a wide range of holiday symbols.

Is she describing Monty?

Don’t be too critical, Monty. What’s your excuse for being there, after all?

Picture the scene.

Row upon row of innocent young trees growing proud and strong on the hill’s side—perhaps standing in a quiet snowfall or listening to the song of the little birds—-suddenly one day seems different from all the other days of their short lives. At first they feel curiosity, “What’s that buzzing sound? Those creaks? That sound of dragging off?” they ask.

Then consternation, “Why does it seem to be coming nearer?”

Then, like the girl who will insist on going about in her underwear in some really bad ‘chop-up-a-teenager’ movie, in a welter of sap and wood chips comes the horror, while rooted to the spot with fear, the poor helpless little Christmas trees meet Mr Chainsaw!

Unable (as you, or I, or a turkey, or even an Easter egg could)—-unable to hide, to run, to escape, to dial 911. What can the poor trembling trees do but await their fate?Think my friends of that fate:

The rude radi-ectomy without benefit of anaesthetics.The dragging around by rough-gloved hands, the casual piling up, the leaning against walls.

The selling and the tying to car roofs.

Oh! Yes!! The Christmas Tree Shops are far more gory!!

I think she means the customers.

Monty’s getting excited.

Am I the only one who notices that physically, his co-worker is basically a female version of Monty? (Glasses, hair, etc.)

Christmas Tree Shops doesn’t have real trees. It has a lot of stuff besides decorations for Christmas. They do have some good deals, especially on a lot of food. Probably why they are changing their name to Christmas Tree Shops and That!