Barney & Clyde by Gene Weingarten; Dan Weingarten & David Clark for October 20, 2015

  1. Onion news1186.article
    Randy B Premium Member almost 9 years ago

    Yes, the Nobel Prize in Privileged Cynicism.I hear they don’t award that every year.

     •  Reply
  2. Avatar
    neverenoughgold  almost 9 years ago

    Battle Hymn of Term Finals(Sung to The Battle Hymn Of The Republic)

    Mine eyes have seen the horror Of the ending of the term It has poisoned all my spirits Like an apple with a worm It’s infected all my freedom Like an ugly cancer germ The truth shall soon be known.

    Chorus: Failure, failure, degradation, Failure and humiliation, Failure, failure, academia, The truth shall soon be known.

    I have listened to the teachers But the homework leaves me cold I have never done assignments Although many times been told I have even missed my classes When I was feeling bold The truth shall soon be known.

    Chorus: Failure, failure, degradation, Failure and humiliation, Failure, failure, academia, The truth shall soon be known.

    They are adding all my points up And I haven’t earned but few In fact, I haven’t even gotten More than one or two Oh, if I could only find one more…

     •  Reply
  3. Missing large
    Stephen Gilberg  almost 9 years ago

    I relate a little. I used to take notice whenever I reached the age at which some celebrity had done something awesome. Then I reminded myself that I wasn’t even trying in that area.

     •  Reply
  4. Missing large
    strickmaedel  almost 9 years ago

    Malala has spent her life actually doing something — rather than just being a smartass, Cynthia.

     •  Reply
  5. Avatar
    neverenoughgold  almost 9 years ago

    That’s twice as good as only one getting credit…

     •  Reply
  6. Dog
    robert423elliott  over 2 years ago

    Maybe someone could arrange a little bullet in the head courtesy of the taliban!

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment