Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 21, 2015

For those interested, you can go here.

“Rent them by the hour”? Was he talking about the baby or the woman?

No way human babies are that small and rats that big.

I loved when Dilbert did that using a baby doll, then whacked a fly on the wall with it.

Pastis must have been watching old ’80s and ’90s sitcom reruns.

Darn close…. I have an incredible six year old grandson, and the world’s most beautiful 10 month old granddaughter. When I throw in my girlfriend’s small dog, I can have my choice of women….

Update: the incredible 10 month old granddaughter only seems to attract six year old girls……I’ll be rethinking this.

As a matter of fact, studies have actually shown that the sight of a man holding a baby or a puppy really does make him that much more irresistible to women in an ovary-detonating kind of way, because they see him as a potential good father and provider. Bonus points if the man happens to be shirtless while holding said baby or puppy.

Pig, you could rent a gross and still not score! We still have all-too-vivid memories of how you kiss!(Besides, that woman was suspiciously easy for Rat; maybe he had bought her off in advance to seem to fall for his ploy, so he could impress you guys, Goat and Pig.)

Ya wanna meet girls? Take an Irish Setter for a walk.

Silly Stephan. A man/rat holding a baby is obviously married or in a committed relationship, not dating material.

Rat with a baby, something is wrong with that picture….

Good morning! I’m putting this post on the sites I used to frequent. I wanted you to know that I’m among the living, and well (considering that I’m eighty). See, I was up in Wisconsin in October and early November, and got so busy trying to achieve a semblance of order and cleanliness, that I didn’t feel I had time to contribute comix comments. Soon I lost my addiction to commenting, and gained a new addiction to the extra one- to two-and-a-half hours I’d gained daily. I’ve missed everyone, but the new addiction chugs on. Meant to inform you before, but it was always too late in the day. Keep calm and carry on the tradition!

When we first got our puppy, I discovered the same thing. They are chick magnets! Unfortunately, I had been happily married for nearly 30 years when I discovered that, so it didn’t do me any good.

dogs work. also cats. one time i went to a used bookstore with a buddy . he sat there with the store cat on his lap petting it, and all these women started talking to him

Lady… HE’S A RAT!

She left out fertile.

Rat. A caring sensitive man?

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

xxx

Oh wait, I know where a collection of 6 foot tall Rats will be Sunday! Rick Wakeman, Keyboardist and Cape Wearer Extraordinaire, formerly of YES!, and other projects, Is KING RAT of the GRAND ORDER of WATER RATS . They are having their big annual fundraising do Sunday, 22November2015, for charities. 

So if anybody is near Grosvenor House, Park Lane, London tomorrow, call and see if tickets are still available. 

There should be at least 100 full sized Water Rats to choose from. Wakeman was over six feet tall. That’s a big rat!Wharf Rats Last Night at The Proms

It’s probably cheaper to rent the mother.

Wouldn’t the human/rat holding a baby be assumed to be not only a father, but a SPOUSE or PARTNER of another woman?Yah, that means he’s safe and the ladies come out of the woodwork. It’s like how gay guys always seem to attract the prettiest gals. I even knew of a guy once who pretended to be gay so that the ladies would first think he’s safe then think he’s a challenge, that is, he’d let them “convert” him.

Doesn’t work. Women will assume that a man holding a baby is married and waiting for his wife.

My Ex an (jokingly) considered renting out her daughter,cute but in the “Terrible Twos”. Grandparents declined babysitting even. Turns out that there isn’t much market after the age of 10 months or when they start walking, whichever is first. Too much baby proofing involved for short term use. And what could you do once you get the “date” home but watch her ga-ga over the rental, anyway?