Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 16, 2015

‘Normally’, as in ‘when the bears are in their normal habitat (i.e., the woods) and you don’t happen to startle them, or get between a sow and her cub.

But when you find a bear on Wall Street, they aren’t in their ‘normal’ habitat (even if it is a ‘bear market’), so humans might look very tasty.

And these Wileybears look like something I’d love to give one of my nieces this year. Please consider, Wiley…

Don’t eat them! They’re too fatty and high in salt! Just maul and kill them a little bit, Market Bears, sirs!

Actually, Dahmer ate more people than bears up to his time! “Normal” is after all, relative, right?

Normally, their scat doesn’t have little bells in it, either!

Where are the bulls?

Read the fine print.“Suits are a staple”

You are aware however….

While not a normal part of their diet, these bears are willing to make an exception, in the case of these two guys.

That’s why I always carry a honey bun in my coat pocket. You never know when you’re going to have to toss it to a bear and run the other way.

Don’t forget, you don’t have to be able to outrun the bear, just be able to outrun the suit walking with you.

Does a wild bear crap in the city?Probably, after a good meal.

I hope that’s Wall Street.

Down town bears? Before or after morning coffee?

….on the other hand, these two could easily be mistaken for penguins……which just might qualify.!

Bears, huh. That must be Wall Street…..

Wiley Bears are certainly cute (in their own carnivorous ways) but transferring their unique expressions onto a 3d object could be problematic, especially if done with a sewing machine. Designing with a 3D printer may work some of the bugs out.I just realized Moog from “Open Season” looks very similar to a Wiley bear, so it might not be as hard as I perceive.

the drought in California has caused a lot of wildlife into urban areas seeking food……

“Normally”, as in “normally I don’t eat ice cream with chocolate sauce for breakfast”, but given half a chance, I would!

Normally most humans are smart enough to stay far away from bears….some humans, not-so-much-so.

I’d buy a Wiley Bear Plush Toy…..I gave my mom an Opus plushy back in the day….She loved it. It was one of the few things my mom recognized when her memory went.. I gave a high powered business dude friend of mine a Croc….His wife thought it was an insult….He just laughed his ass off….I’d buy whole bunches of Wiley Bears….

Actually, the farther north you get the more likely it is to be normal. Indians tell of entire tribes being wiped out by bears that began feasting on them. It kept up for months until the bears “used up” the entire “pantry”.

Carnavors are opportunistic feeders, they’ll eat anything!

Unless they happen to wander by the cave door.