Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 28, 2016
Transcript:
Danae: $ Yes! That's it! Jeffrey! I've got it...the perfect plan!! Ok...we don't have any money, right? Jeffrey: Uh...right... Danae: Well, all we have to do is go back in time... Jeffrey: Um...ok...back to when, and what do you plan to do? Danae: Back to when a big company was starting up... ...Then buy up a lot of their stock when it was cheap, zap back to now, and we'd be billionaires! Jeffrey: Cool! Just one thing, though... Danae: What...it's perfect! Jeffrey: What'll we buy the stock with? Danae: Gah!! Why does reality have to ruin everything?! Jeffrey: Well, um... Danae: And why is it always uphill?!! Jeffrey: Ok, I've got nothin'...
Bilan over 8 years ago
Silly girl. Just tell your past self what the winning lottery ticket numbers are.
Dtroutma over 8 years ago
Always uphill, both ways.
Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member over 8 years ago
Go back to 1951 and search for McFly book
Enter.Name.Here over 8 years ago
He has a time machine. Why hasn’t he exploited it yet?
Vonne Anton over 8 years ago
Why, do what Trump does, of course! Buy an election! (cowers under cover of ineffectual arms and runs in a serpentine motion to get out of harms way)
Marc Poschman over 8 years ago
Silly girl. Just agree as to where the loot is to be placed in the past. Then go there in the present and pick it up, go back in time to invest some of it.
pcolli over 8 years ago
You won’t need much money to buy the first editions of super hero comics….. just the right currency.
whiteheron over 8 years ago
Just think Danae, you are the neighborhood’s reality. Happy now?
Joken' over 8 years ago
But what about the Heisenberg effect?
NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 8 years ago
If you have money and a time machine, you buy black peppercorns and go back to middle ages and sell it for gold or silver. It was rare back then. Coffee beans are another good commodity. This bypasses are lot of paradoxes and technical difficulties.
Q4horse over 8 years ago
Buy the winning lottery ticket. They only cost $2.00.
dabugger over 8 years ago
Well, some started with little or none. That is who ya can’t go back. Besides, what are you going to do if had it; get in trouble with it, lose it or . . . ? Danae an Jeffrey still have themselves, no matter.
KEA over 8 years ago
Plan: be born to rich parents who die young.
edstephens74 over 8 years ago
Hence the need for a SEC temporal unit
pcolli over 8 years ago
No paradoxes, as Night-Gaunt49 said…. each action creates it’s own consequences and futures.
Kveldulf over 8 years ago
Skipping over the time travel paradoxes, how can a girl who has just slid downhill to speak to her friend complain that “It’s always uphill”?
bmckee over 8 years ago
This has come up in a couple of forums that I visit and I think I have just the answer for Danae and Jeffrey. Go home and get as much aluminum foil as you can. An unopened box or two would be ideal. Now, travel back in time to the mid-19th century – Paris in 1854 or 1855 would be perfect. Sell the aluminum foil. Before the development of the Hall-Heroult process, aluminum was worth more than gold. In fact Napoleon III of France once held a banquet at which his most honoured guests used aluminum utensils. Everyone else had to settle for gold. Travel forward in time to 1932 – the lowest point in the stock market – and sell your gold coins, preferably to wealthy coin collectors who will pay a premium over the bullion cost. Buy stocks in companies that you know are going to thrive during World War II, like US Steel, and IBM. Travel forward in time to the historic high values of those companies. Sell those stocks and buy stocks that are low at that point but are going to get more expensive. When you finally reach the present, go to the store and buy more aluminum. Repeat.
kaffekup over 8 years ago
All of this seems a little moot for kids who are maybe 10 years old…
Varnes over 8 years ago
Jeffrey’s Time Looper looks kind of cozy in this light…Plenty of room in there, too…..Is there a loft?
dkendraf over 8 years ago
I thought Danae thought boys were booger-brained. She conveniently and constantly overlooks that Jeffrey is a boy. I wonder if it’s because of the things the kid knows how to do. Hmm, given that she’s the ultimate opportunist, it’s a good theory.
Lakebottom3.14 over 8 years ago
Or just start a bank account and take the interest now