Rubes by Leigh Rubin for March 11, 2016

What is the standard of beauty for warthogs, I wonder…

FARTHER. Further is mostly an adjective.

“Tusk,tusk… your insecurity is showing.”

He likes to make her squeal like a pig.

With her sitting like that, Bernie hasn’t heard a word she’s said.

I can’t even tell the difference, so I’m guessing the mind thing will work.

Here ‘bumping uglies’ makes no sense, so call the lion king to solve both situations.

Hey! My warts are up here!