Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for March 30, 2016

You know you need to lose weight when your scale says “Ouch!”

Train him to bring you carrot and celery sticks. That’s all you should be eating.

I solved my weight watching problem. I threw away the scale !

You know you’ve gotten heavy when your talking scale says: “Come back and one at a time, please!”

My talking scale: “One of you two get off”…..it now resides, rusting in the back yard.

I was loading up plates at an all-you-can-eat Mexican buffet. I remarked to the guy in front of me as I was waiting for him to fill his plates, “I’m scared that my Doctor is going to catch me in here. All the Doctors want us to eat is grass and weeds.” He said, “You think you got worries, I’m one of those kind of Doctors and I’m afraid one of my patients is going to catch me in here.”

I think that’s Morse Code. But, I can’t translate it.

Tried every way to spell but cannot decipher. W8ISK

My son does it one dozen at a time.

This is why I rarely eat at a casino buffet…

That, and the food is not really that good!