Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 06, 2016

Pig, you might get lucky and Congressman might open his mail just as he’s about to have breakfast.

Heck, might not even represent rich people who give them lots of money, might only represent corporations who give them lots of money, free air travel, a few million dollar vacations a year, a multi-million dollar house with two or three acres of land, and a few high end limos.

Pig, did you make sure to use a powdered sugar doughnut? That way there might be a white powdery substance on the outside of the envelope. That always gets you their attention.

Why don’t people believe that our congressmen really care about democracy?

He-he. I crack myself up.

“And here are the crushed remains of my hopes and dreams.”

No good, Pig. Given the greed of politicians, you can bet that crushing the doughnut lost you any influence; he’ll be searching for the hole.

pig, that letter would only get you influence with cops.

American Congressmen represent Israel first and corporations second. American people not at all.

Back when I had ash trays, that’s how I disposed of the ashes, especially if I had a postage-paid envelope from some outfit I really didn’t like.

And THIS should be required watching for anyone who has a Congress critter:Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Congressional Fundraisinghttps://youtu.be/Ylomy1Aw9Hk

What a crummy bribe!

You’ll never attain much pull that way, Pig. (Unless you count being pulled off for interrogation by the feds….)

Having held many offices in the organizations I’ve belonged to I have found many like to talk the talk, few will walk the walk down to the squared circle.

A lot if he’s the “law and order” candidate.

Send me a donut in the mail, Pig

Enclose a note saying that this is just a down payment from your PAC [Pastry Action Committee], and a few dozen Krispy Kremes are on the way. That’ll get you some influence.

If a Congressman responds only to money, he should look favorably at receiving dough in the mail…

Robin Hardwood’s comments, though disturbing, do not overly concern me. Ignorant bigots abound, both from the xenophobic Right and the intolerant Left. I don’t confuse PC views on “hate speech” with the First Amendment. What is truly frightening is that it has been, according to GoComics, about six hours since he demonstrated his stupidity and no one else has objected.

I’ve been to Washington DC’s Krispy Kreme. It’s the only one of their stores where the doughnuts are made off-site, yet the “Hot Now” sign was still on. Gotta love that DC honesty.

From Bob and Doug McKenzie’s Great White North album::Bob: “We’ll give you [cops] donuts if you don’t give us a ticket!”Doug: “Yeah, we’ll mail ’em to you.”

Poor Pig, you have more pull than you know, politicians LOVE pork!

“Mmm—donuts …” [drool]— Homer Simpson

Is he running for police commissioner?

Is it a powdered donut?