Bloom County by Berkeley Breathed for July 22, 2022

Ugly old ladies need love too.

He’s besotted. You can tell by the little dots over his head.

Get him to a salad bar, quickly.

Today she just might.

I hope so.

You’re calling Binkley for help, Milo? Seriously?

Now if he pulled out a snickers she might be interested

The problem here is that a gun isn’t going to stop him.

Tyrone F. Horneigh: Would you like to play Post Office?

[Gladys hits him]

Tyrone F. Horneigh: Would you like to play Spin the Bottle?

[Gladys hits him]

Tyrone F. Horneigh: Would you like to play Doctor?

[Falls off park bench]

Tyrone F. Horneigh: Would you like to go to a play?

[Gladys hits him]

Tyrone F. Horneigh: Would you like to go to a concert?

[Gladys hits him]

Tyrone F. Horneigh: Would you like to go to a funeral?

[Falls off park bench]

Tyrone F. Horneigh: Do you believe in the hereafter?

Gladys Ormphby: Of course I do!

Tyrone F. Horneigh: [Chuckles] Then you know what I’m here after!

Tyrone F. Horneigh: Would you like to call me Cutie?

[Gladys hits him]

Tyrone F. Horneigh: Would you like to call me Sweetie?

[Gladys hits him]

Tyrone F. Horneigh: Would you like to call me an ambulance?

[Falls off park bench]

“Supple” strawberries? “Autumn strawberries”? No wonder Opus’s expostulations of love fall upon unreceptive cauliflower-tender ears.

Pair bonding is an illness.

Stay back, stay back

When I’m in the middle of my room, I’ll refuse to hear from you

It’s alright, it’s alright

To be standing in a line (Standing in a line)

To be standing in a line

I won’t cry

Speaking as a larger lady, my response to Opus would be: Son, you want a lady penguin. Maybe try the zoo?

I’ve lost track, has he met Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann yet?

Penguin pon farr for sure!

Maybe Madam should just put him out of his misery, before he harms someone….