Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 25, 2016
Transcript:
"Rat's Guide to People You Can Do Without The guy whose every Facebook post is sadder than the last. Joe T. Dog died. Grandpa died. House burned down. The fat guy in the aisle seat who unapologetically takes both arm rests. 'He worries. I'll just make myself into a toothpick.' The neighbor who thinks they need to alert you to everything. 'Just so you know, I saw a guy walking on the street. He was tall.' The friend who peppers his language with words he barely knows. 'I have a plethora of loquacious bees.' The aunt who forwards every health-related email on the internet. To: Nephew Bob From: Aunt Hilda Subject: Signs of a stroke. Do Not Delete!!! The cartoonist who pretends to have one of his characters draw his strip because he's too lazy to draw a real one. 'Hi'" Stephan: Whoa whoa whoa. Rat: Truth hurts. Pig: This is so darn plethora.
BE THIS GUY about 8 years ago
That’s the aunt that watches every episode of that quack Dr. Oz.
Sherlock Watson about 8 years ago
For the list: Daytime talk show hosts. All of them.
Wilde Bill about 8 years ago
Stole that bit from Family Circus.
asianwoof about 8 years ago
The person who intentionally drives slow in the fast lane.
bigcatbusiness about 8 years ago
Is there a pamphlet of that?
dadoctah about 8 years ago
The guy who posts “FIRST!” to every comment section.
Kind&Kinder about 8 years ago
People who must be right, no matter the facts.
GuntherGrass about 8 years ago
A good many of these could be added to Koko’s song in Gilbert&Sullivan’s Mikado:
As someday it may happen that a victim must be found,I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list.Of society offenders who might well be underground, And never would be missed, who never would be missed!
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member about 8 years ago
Oh my. I fear that if I start down this road, I’ll never stop. And I’m sure that I am on a few people’s lists.
detroitpete about 8 years ago
that Facebook comment is dead on.
juicebruce about 8 years ago
A Rat’s Guide…………………Hummmm
whiteheron about 8 years ago
Is the such a thing as a “high quacious” ? Why are they always low?
e.groves about 8 years ago
I think everybody is on someone’s list.
NeedaChuckle Premium Member about 8 years ago
The first one reminds me of the routine The Gardener. There is a you tube on it. Sad story gets sadder, it is funny as heck.
Richard Howland-Bolton Premium Member about 8 years ago
Ah! the quiet susurration of innumerable Apis mellifera
pugmahone12 about 8 years ago
more crocs, now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A_NY_Outlaw about 8 years ago
this is why I don’t participate in facebook.
AKJeff about 8 years ago
The person who feels compelled to push the crosswalk or elevator button over and over again when once is all that is required.
Clearstream about 8 years ago
The person who constantly yells, no matter where you are.
grainpaw about 8 years ago
People in big trucks who tailgate even when you’re going more than a little over the speed limit. And then, when they park, it won’t fit in a normal space.
drmose about 8 years ago
Rat has a two-tone nose. How come?
bfrg45 about 8 years ago
There’s a whole comic strip along these lines called Human Cull: www.gocomics.com/human-cull
The Fly Hunter about 8 years ago
The people who keep asking for more crocs!
TheWildSow about 8 years ago
I see he’s met my neighbor Ed.
tarzina3 about 8 years ago
I know 2 people on Facebook who have never heard of Snopes or Hoax Slayer. they believe every stupid thing they read , even the really obvious ones! I would not be surprised if they watch Dr. Oz too!
Tain'tPelagius about 8 years ago
Work on ’em, Doktor Zook.
『▶Ͼняιѕтoρнєя◀』 about 8 years ago
A lot of talkative bees?
gatocatcat about 8 years ago
It was worth it just to get to, “This is do darn plethora.”
Sisyphos about 8 years ago
Whatsa matter, Cartoon-Boy? Can’t take it? Sock it to him, Rat!Pig, please don’t labor so hard to make a fool of yourself; we already know….
nopainogain about 8 years ago
these loquacious bees… were they trying to convince you to eat a certain cereal?
Loopy Frogger Premium Member about 8 years ago
Pastis your characters come alive.. a very scary prospect :)
quagmire3 about 8 years ago
How can Rat draw, when he lacks opposable thumbs?
alantain about 1 year ago
I’d like to add people who keep track of how many “likes” they get and those who insist on telling you how many facebook friends they have.