Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 08, 2019
January 07, 2019
January 09, 2019
Transcript:
richard's poor almanac voting a guide for the anxious by richard thompson upon arriving at your polling & before you're cleared to vote. you'll want to wash your hands several times or more. a waterless handwashing station & moist towelettees are provided are provided for your convenience. push vote when you approach the voting booth, advance in a normal fashion. do not shamble, crawl or sidle. and don't go peeking under the voting booth looking for crouching supreme court justices. they aren't there. while in the voting booth do not gibber, ululate or swear. "lucky" objects, sweaters, etc., are permitted. if you feel panicky. press the "call: button. a voter hostess will respond. please exit quickly when finished. before you receive your "i voted" sticker, you'll want to wash your hands a few more times. you may now return home. the results of your vote will be made available in 4-6 weeks. thank you.
ACK! Premium Member over 5 years ago
You may want to bathe/shower several times afterward.
DCBakerEsq over 5 years ago
Don’t expect your vote to matter. Fat cats and Russian pranksters will take care of deciding the results.
6turtle9 over 5 years ago
Unfortunately, washing never seems to really be effective when playing with politics. I find it is much funner to sit on the side of the road and throw deviled eggs as they pass by.
ars731 over 5 years ago
“And please refrain from yelling “the blood, it wont wash off” this isnt real and is in your mind"
Sisyphos over 5 years ago
Are we confusing voting and hospital tests here? —Nah, couldn’t be….