Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 20, 2016

What skills did the ants get?

Well, not a true prehistory because Goat does not have his whiskers, which didn’t disappear for quite a while after the strip debuted.

Larry must’ve stepped on fire ants. (An Ernest P. Worrell had a picnic with Sprite soda and unexpected fire ants once.)

Sing along with Sherlock:

:

The ants go marching one by one,

Hurrah, hurrah.

The ants go marching one by one,

Hurrah, hurrah.

The ants go marching one by one,

They bite an idiot’s toes for fun,

And they all go marching

Down, in the ground, to get out, of the rain.

Boom, boom, boom…

Try stepping on a bee. You’ll feel it for a while.

I can move! I can talk! I can walk!

I got bit several times on the foot by a fire ant a few years ago when it got trapped in my sandal. The mark is still there!

He shoulda bought some alligator boots to protect his toes.

So, assuming the last three characters of Larry’s cursing are “i-n-g” and we’re looking at a simple substitution cypher, then he’s saying, “Dey bite my ingning toes!” You’re welcome.

Croc Power ! …………. Except for ants :-(

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Your strip is finally funny! Good one Steph!

Birdwatching in Texas one fall, I suddenly felt stings on my thighs and realized I was standing in an ant hill. I had to peel off my favorite pair of knee socks and leave them hanging in a bush as they were literally moving with big mean biting ants.

I was waiting for one with Rat in a bar with a glass of liquor in his hand saying “I can drink”

Did the ants gain intelligence?

L’il Guard Duck, skilled with weapons.

I.. don’t think crocodiles are in the “animal” family so they were left out of the incredible skill blessing. On the plus side.. those without that blessing will be around long after those with the most blessing “us” have done ourselves in.

So, after the blast, animals could talk and read… but Pastis still couldn’t draw legs.

thanks for the crocs

Poor Larry. Croc had thick legs but now has spindly feet.

It must be the Croc’s thick skin or maybe their tiny brain that protected them from the radiation. Gotta love the Croc’s they always make me laugh. Larry’s wife and son seem to be pretty smart though….

Hey! My kids read this, when I let them out of the crawl space to change their papers!!

Now Larry sings “Dead ant dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant….” to the Pink Panther theme.

At least the only thing good about being stung by a bee is that I discovered I’m not allergic. And AlexanderTheGoodEnough… how can you survive something that it’s famous for “killing cows?”

…except for the non-anthropomorphic critters of course.

So … who should I smack first? Sherlock for “The ants go marching one by one” or DobieT for being just close enough to “I Can Talk” from “Charlotte’s Web” to trigger that earworm?

There is a type of ant called “bullet ants” – because that’s how much they hurt – that is said to be the most painful insect sting ever. Oddly enough, their sting is completely non allergenic.

Dare I suggest, inspired by Spider-Man?

—Except that Spider-Man is far sillier and less believable than Cartoon-Boy’s pre-history and radiation-induced abilities in the characters who would come to populate his strip. It’s all so plausible! I believe! I believe! Clap clap!

I hope this didn’t affect how you voted. Toonboy probably believed fascists can’t become president

’Don’t tread on an ant, he’s done nothing to you. There might come a time when he’s treading on you! Don’t tread on an ant, you’ll end up black and blue. You cut off his head, legs come looking for you!’