Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 23, 2016
Transcript:
Rat: I just gave money to a church. Goat: Good for you. Why'd you decide to do that? Rat: So that one day. I automatically get into heaven and avoid the fiery furnace of hell. Goat: A donation to a church doesn't guarantee that. Rat: Would it be wrong to steal it back from the collection plate? Goat: Yes. Robbing God's house is frowned upon.
BE THIS GUY almost 8 years ago
Rat, find a religion that sells indulgences.
TMO1 Premium Member almost 8 years ago
It seems even most churchgoers don’t believe in Hell, or at least don’t believe there’s any chance they are going there. Hence all the wrongdoing going on 24/7.
Templo S.U.D. almost 8 years ago
Malaquías 3:8-9
Bilan almost 8 years ago
Maybe you should let Rat believe that little lie. He may become more tolerable.
RH3 almost 8 years ago
People who avoid wrongdoing solely because they fear Hell do not understand right and wrong in the first place.
meillered almost 8 years ago
Love the palm tree.
blunebottle almost 8 years ago
Christ’s advice: “Sell all you have and give it to the poor [not the church], then you will have treasure in heaven.”
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member almost 8 years ago
There’s many a church where Rat’s theology is the standard.
“I don’t have to treat people outside this church with any sort of respect or even basic human dignity. They are apostates. Only WE are the true believers on whom God smiles.”
juicebruce almost 8 years ago
Rat will always be for Rat……………..so HAPPY THANKSGIVING !
Kristiaan almost 8 years ago
‘Good for you’ Really??
In the Middle Ages you could buy indulgences, which led to protestantism.
Partyalldatyme almost 8 years ago
If you’re going to hell anyway, may as well steal from the church.
bigcatbusiness almost 8 years ago
Hypocrisy will get you nowhere Rat, except maybe purgatory. Hope you don’t try to steal money while crossing the river Styx.
Ken in Ohio almost 8 years ago
“Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory (over sin and death) through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
I Corinthians 15: 56-57
PrairieDog37 almost 8 years ago
The usual picture of heaven is boring. I’d rather be in hell. At least it’s more interesting.
toahero almost 8 years ago
Remember, there are only a few locations left.
Sisyphos almost 8 years ago
Rat has found religion! Well, sort of.
At least it’s on his map. Near the far edge….
jessegooddoggy almost 8 years ago
I am an atheist. I find heavenly joy in the wild places left on this earth and am kind to all living things. No old book or law tells me to do so, it is simply how I chose to live.
Godfreydaniel almost 8 years ago
“Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that; it is an enemy to human liberty.”—Mark Twain
Andrew Sleeth almost 8 years ago
[panel #4]
Rat: What if it was the Church of Scientology?
Goat: [crickets]
rowena28 Premium Member almost 8 years ago
“Good for you”? There is nothing good about donating to a church.
Sherlock Watson almost 8 years ago
What if you send God an e-mail saying that you are a Nigerian prince who needs His financial help?
BobCu almost 8 years ago
A basic fact of reality: Dead people stay dead. There is no magical 2nd life in a magical paradise or a magical hell.
The ridiculous heaven fantasy makes terrorism possible. The world would be better off without it.
Number Three almost 8 years ago
Too late, Rat. Enjoy the flames.
xxx
Steve Dutch almost 8 years ago
Malachi 3:5 is a good one:5 “So I will come to put you on trial. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive the foreigners among you of justice, but do not fear me,” says the Lord Almighty."The part about defrauding laborers certainly applies to the people who leave fake $20 bill tracts in place of a tip, and the part about foreigners is pretty relevant to today.
jbruins84341 almost 8 years ago
I think Rat’s fate is pretty much sealed, no matter how much he gives to (or takes from) the church.
kaffekup almost 8 years ago
So, if the soul comes from God, why would he send it to Hell for eternity based on the belief of a body he put himself in?Never got that.
bigcatbusiness almost 8 years ago
I don’t know what happens if you fall in the river Styx JudyAz, and I don’t want to find out.
Daniel J. almost 8 years ago
Good g-d, Pastis, stay away from religion, please!