The Wandering Melon by Mike Shiell for December 22, 2016

And whoever put words to “Ring Christmas Bells”. Ruined the best song ever.

“…what’s with all the birds?”

.

When the song was composed, huge turkeys were not available. How many calling birds, or even French hens, does it take to feed the whole family at Christmas dinner?

I am convinced that the gifts listed in the song are actually euphemistic references to acts designed to impart carnal sensory satisfaction.

I just made that up.

The world makes more sense when you just make stuff up.

Actually, for Catholics like myself, the Christmas season lasts thru the Baptism of Jesus. Which I don’t get because he was baptized in his 30s. In many cultures, Epiphany is January 6th. But in the Catholic church, we celebrate it the first Sunday after New Year’s Day. Which can be any time between January 2nd and 8th. So, sometimes our 12th day is on the 8th day, sometimes the 14th day. And sometimes it really is the 12th day!

Try finding a song called “The Twelve Days After Christmas.” I’m sure it’s out there somewhere. Very funny.

Huh. I never realized that six of the twelve days mention birds. Interesting.

Actually each of the items in the 12 days refers to some sort of legend referencing the birth of Christ I think.